Journey to Handstand
No matter how hard I tried to not have expectations, somewhere deep down I was expecting to hold a handstand from #2018beyondbryce300. In the last week, I looked back at my progress and I was still at a 1 out of 10 hit. I was trying hard but ended up overdoing, hurting my wrists and contantly having to take a break.
@mageesy: Why is it so important for you to have a handstand?
Me: Umm it's not! I said defensively. But then I looked within and something unexpected came out... In my head, I was still listening to the voices that didn't serve me. Along the way of transitioning out of my corporate job and into the life of a yoga instructor, I was told that I had made a wrong decision, that I would fail and it was probably best to settle with another corporate job. My class strength back home was still very small and every so often, due to this recurrent conversation, I would question if I was good enough.
So I said to myself, "I will prove them wrong!" I started to push my practice harder...less for the love of yoga and sometimes just to prove a point.
How would I achieve this? Noone in Pakistan is teaching free standing handstand. I will teach it! I will become the best asana teacher out there so that people would start coming to me, I'd make lots of money and I'll prove the haters wrong.
So 3 weeks into this most expensive handstand in the world, I still hadn't achieved my handstand...I was frustrated.
Somewhere along the way, I had lost my purpose, to share the joy of yoga, to be more active, to have more discipline and let go of all the things that didn't serve me. Yet here I was holding on to this need of achieving a handstand that was definitely not doing me any good. My desire to learn was no longer coming from a genuine place.
In that moment of awareness, I decided to let go of this irrational measuring stick, the handstand. I decided instead to be grateful for all the tools that I had gained at this training that would make me a better yoga instructor.
Interestingly, that same evening is when I held my first 10+ second HANDSTAND.
#yoga #armbalance #handstand #lettinggo @bryceyoga @yogabeyond