Very old picture sorry!!
I have some questions for you guys and id really really appreciate if you had a chance to read ❤
Part 1. although all rational thinking should point me to recovery, (e.g. I can't keep hurting and worrying my mum like this), I'm finding it really difficult to sustain 'recovery' for more than a day at a time. And I'm finding it hard to understand. why is it that my mind is so determined to have me still restricting even when I know I shouldn't lose more weight? what is it that my mind is still trying to hold onto? has anyone else had this?
Part 2. There are days like today where I try to eat properly, but as I said, these phases of 'recovery' only last a day or two before I slip back into thinking irrationally again. I havent been to see a doctor, so at the moment, the only person who can help myself is myself.
At the moment, unless I make some drastic changes and REALLY try, im scared that if I'm left alone, I'll only get worse. But then again, I'm also scared of drastic changes that a doctor will make and I don't want to be forced into drastic changes (especially as I'm not terribly underweight, I think...But maybe that's my ED being scared of putting on weight hmm) What do you guys think I should do? Do you think I can manage this on my own, and if so, do you have any advice or something little that I could try to change that would help? I think if I tried hard enough, with your help, I could do it....But I want to maintain my current weight, is this possible to do and still recover?
Or do you think I should seek professional help (which I'm pretty scared of doing and kinda want to avoid :'))? If you've read this far, thank you SO MUCH❤
Keep fighting, thought for the day: Treat yourself like you would your best friend 💜