I had my dad over for a week.
And that was hard work.
My father and I have a very weird relationship.
If I ever had a problem, he wouldn't be the first person I'd go to. Actually, I don't think I'd go to him at all.
He's never been one to accept responsibility of anything. He just wants to be this free soul who has no restrictions, and does what he wants.
My female parent, (being called a mother is not a right. It's something you work for) has never been around. And probably never will be.
This even till today, I find hard. Rejection is a horrible thing. If someone has passed away, you know its closure. But when someone is alive, and you know they actually don't have a care in the world for you, well, you just never get over that.
After years of counselling and hypnotherapy, it's something that will stay with me forever.
After having children myself, I don't understand how a parent wouldn't want to keep in touch with their child. It's mind boggling.
So, my husband wasn't fazed at all, and was excitedly waiting for my father's arrival. I on the other hand was worried. Hes the kind of person who has no filter on language. So in front of the children, it worries me. He also likes to drink, which has actually been the bane of all our lives. He promised he wouldn't drink for the week of visiting, and he actually stuck by it.
But now he's gone, in a weird was, I miss him. I miss the noise he creates. I miss him making irrelevant conversation whilst watching a Luther. I miss making him a coffee with 3 sugars.
He said he will come and visit again in March. I think secretly, I am looking forward to it.
It takes years to try and mend damaged relationships. Alot of effort from both sides. Sometimes, it may even be one sided. But, never stop trying. It's worth it in the end.
#family #dad #dadsitting #feelings #emotions #raw #past # hurt #pain #parent #healing #relationships #ithinkimisshim