The other day I made one of the hardest decisions of my entire 25 years of life. Remember how last week I said you shouldn't take the easy way out? Oy vey.. this is one of those classic examples. I'm hoping I'll speak fondly of this decision in years to come, despite everything that led up to it.
As I've written in other posts, I've been far from happy. Over the last few months I was in a state of such discomfort that I didn't go anywhere besides campus. I didn't want to talk to anyone. My old tendencies got the best of me because I didn't know what to do. All I could do was go through the motions all while feeling lost, exhausted with my thoughts, and irritable AF.
What frustrated me most was that my relationships were suffering. I was a miserable person because I was hurting in the inside. My misery was taken out on those closest to me. Finally, I recognized I had to do something. These people deserve the BEST version of me, not the worst.
If you haven't guess it yet, these feelings of uncertainty were the result of my entrance to my doctoral program. Even though there is amazing work being done here, it never felt like it was home. My heart knew it was wrong.
At the end of July, I will no longer be a doctoral student. For now, anyways.
Listen... I'm TERRIFIED. I have no idea where this life is going to take me next. I have reached out to people who are in better alignment with my vision for myself - people with a passion for helping others and for learning.
I KNOW from the bottom of my heart that I have big things to offer every person who comes into my life. I hope you've noticed it, too, as I share my passion through my posts that you SO kindly read.
There's so much going on in my head on a daily basis. I can't wait to keep sharing it with you. My purpose is to help you be the best version of you in whatever way I can.
I'm doing this because it makes me feel ALIVE. I love it. And I love you for following along. Let's make a living out of this life.. seriously.