I used to FREAK. OUT whenever I was out of the gym for more than 2 days. My entire world revolved around the gym- my class schedule, my food schedule, my sleep schedule. Pretty much everything. I would wake up before class running on 3 hours of sleep to go to the gym, I would skip class sometimes to even go to the gym, I would say no to hanging out with friends on Friday nights so I could go to the gym. —
I was missing out on my whole life because I had an unhealthy obsession with being thin, making myself smaller. Some days I would spend up to 3-3.5 hours in the gym FASTED. that is NOT healthy. —-
That life is not a sustainable one. I wasn’t happy- with my life, my body, etc. I was tired all the time, I was getting bad grades, I was hungry, I was irritated, I was hollow. I was not me. I had no life in me. ——
Although I enjoyed the gym back then, I enjoy it so much more now. I am not pushing myself to exhaustion during every workout, I am fueling my body with nutrients and Whole Foods like I should, I’m getting more than 3 hours of sleep a night. I try to practice self love every single day.
Recovery is a long, steep, winding mountain. It is not a hill. Some days are easier than others, and some days are excruciatingly hard. But every single day I am reminded of why I am still fighting, why I WANT to be a better version of me. It’s because I want to be here I want to live a life where I’m happy and filled with joy instead of hunger and self hate. If I can do it, so can you never stop fighting. You are worth it.