Life/yoga practice this week was FUCKING painful!Damn ego had me messedin all kinds of ways, wouldn't stop screwing with my head.Ego,how you love it when souls give you the power to do that!Lol.How profound of an impact can a blow to the ego have!But how amaZing and beautiful it is to be able to encounter it,face it&turn things around with your own self as an ally on the mat. this week though,I started out as my worst enemy,every single pose that involved the opening of the the lifting of the chest seemed impossible; just as impossible as twists.the limbernes and looseness built up over time gone overnight.how the fuck does that happen?!Anger, hatred."If I had done this""if I had said this""why?""I can't just keep my arms croSsed and my mouth shut""you have the weapons to cause damage Angélica,use them""fuck the promises you've made"etc.For the 1st time in my life I was 100% conscious of a genuine desire to cause harm,I could feel it every second of every day for days.don't get me wrong,I've never claimed to be a saint,I'm more than capable of wickedness.and I've gotten numerous proofs of the existence of karma when I've acted against the goodness of what is known as human;but this evil pulse was a side of me unknown to my persona,it was straight up scary.flows were interrupted by storms of negative thoughts,NOTHING was flowing.
I was as stuck on the mat as I was stuck in a moment,I could not get past it& it was fucking me up,badly."Set an intention,just set an intention"and out of nowhere, tonight,a breath that brought fire to every fiber of my physical body and shook my entire soul.A moment I will remember and be grateful for the rest of my life!It all may sound crazy to many of you,but man, the practice on the mat is a freaking metaphor that reflects the way we handle life.that splittingbreath seems to ironically have helped unify the chaos that I was this past week, it brought me a more woke,aware Ang.I am humbled by the experience of being,of breathing.Tonight's practice honored the ability to stay humble,to find softness within hardship. Tonight,I bow my head as a symbol of humility.Not to lower my head to be looked down on,but to surrender to pride.