231/365 ~ 19th August. We meet again. They said to me, the more you talk about your struggles, the easier it becomes to do so, the easier it is to acknowledge, to accept. But the feelings I felt 4 years ago today, are still raw, and I didn’t know this up until now, when I write this letter to you today. I can still feel my cheeks wet, the burning sensation around my eyes from all the rubbing, I can still hear the machines beeping and I can still see them in their solider like form. I can still see the many wires attached, and I can still smell the air of school dinners and medication. I list all the physical aspects of that night but here’s the ones that really matter. I can still feel the fear within me every time I hear her wince of pain but I also feel the pride when I see her carry on with the day with a smile. I can still hear Aunty’s words of courage and I can still feel her warmth as she hugs me. 19th August. I can still see the damage you’ve caused, 3 years later, but I can see my mum beneath it all, and I can taste her famous wings, and sardine dish and hear her scream to clean my room. I can still see the damage you’ve caused, but beneath it all, she is still, my amazing, Mum. - today marks the day that it’s been 3 years since my mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour.