I’m getting ready to talk to my accountability group about leaning into the hard. For me, right now, is leaning into the hard of the ups and downs of being a mom. .
The late nights, early mornings, the constant fighting, the hard transitions, the constant eating-and I mean constant. It’s all hard to hold myself together and there are certainly moments where I don’t, but I am trying to lean into the hard of parenting. Asking myself in this moment what do I want to teach them, what do I want them to take away from this? .
Based on my experience as a therapist who works with families, I know that there are a few key things that may help my kids in some of these “hard” moments.
🤫 silence. Stop talking. Be there for them with an open and calm body but no talking. Their thinking brain is not connected in dysregulated moments, including the part that processes language and is able to hold a conversation-oh and they also can’t problem solve-so when we as parents are trying to “solve the problem” it’s probably not getting through. I sometimes struggle with this one too, it goes against everything we want as a parent-I’m going to solve this problem and figure it out and everything is going to be better-ya that usually doesn’t happen. BUT I’m leaning into this hard for me, trying to remain silent and just be with my child when they need the calm.
🤗 Provide empathy. Oh this can be a hard one. How do you give empathy when you 100% are wondering wtf-I saw you hit your brother. But the key here is you don’t have to agree with the behaviour or the reason you just have to listen and reflect their feelings. I think sometimes we get stuck on that, BUT leaning into this is so important. This one comes easier for me, I’ve had years of practice, but that’s not to say that there are times I just can’t. .
And how can you lean in, by making sure that you are a balanced whole, that you have taken care of yourself, with whatever ways that help you feel calm and centered. Whether that be through working out, meditation, going for walks, yoga, journaling, expressing gratitude or maybe all of the above or others. 🧘🏼♀️🙏✍️
#loveyourself💕 #connectedness #momofboys💙 #momofboys