Waking up with a hangover can often mean a want to forget the night before.
As an adult you can do a million and 1 different thinks to help deny the reality of the night before.
Make a joke of it.
Don’t think about it.
Pretend it didn’t happen.
Over compensate by being as good as you can today.
That denial works ok for an adult. With an already hazy memory it can be easy to forget. A couple ibuprofen, some water & some greasy food & you’re away.
But what about the children upstairs?? Sure, you can use the same tactics on them, tell them it’s ok, don’t worry, deny it all....but the night before was their only reality.
They heard everything. Picked it all apart. Worried, panicked and confused they had no alcohol to make it all seem ok. That argument that happened that you know was just a drunken scupper? It scared the hell out of them.... but it’s ok, because it’s easier to just assume they were asleep right?!
But children aren’t stupid. They see you’re trying to forget, that you’re trying to pretend, so they help you. They join in with the humour you’re using to minimise the experience in your head & all the while pushing down and suppressing their real experience.
You don’t have to have a huge problem with alcohol to create confusion in your child’s life and it’s not all about what happens when you’re drunk. What you do the morning after to cope can be where the damage is done. I’m not by any means saying people doing this are bad people, often quite the opposite but sometimes we’re trying so hard to protect ourselves we need someone else to open our eyes.
Last nights chaotic party could be a distant memory in your head by lunchtime but leave a lifetimes impression on the way your children see their world.