But I actually DID do the silence thing for a while. Not complete silence but for one whole year I stepped away from the world. It was a much treasured spiritual sabbatical and I spent twelve months listening. And learning. And healing. But I knew it wouldn't last, so I savored every last drop, and after my year was up I was pulled (kicking and screaming) back into the world. And what was I drawn back to? Words. It's always about me and the words. But I had to learn how to keep my know-it-all ego in check and remember that I can only write about MY journey and what's been best for ME. And as much as I want (desperately) to tackle the problems of the world and right them (every last one), I can only start with what needs fixing in myself. And then share my story and let others do with it as they please: use it, ignore it, laugh at it 💁 And if I keep myself within these (hopefully humble) parameters, I can answer anything (mostly) that you throw at me. Uncomfortable or not. Because it's only my journey that I profess to know anything about. (On a good day.)
So, before I can continue, the innocuous question was: How often do you meditate, each time?
Silly, right? Unless you're me. And wish the whole world would meditate. Daily. And I find myself battling this ego of mine that wants to make people UNDERSTAND what meditation does: the clarity and guidance and peace that it brings, because then everyone would be on board. If I could only just EXPLAIN that it's what SAVED me when life was nothing but a continuous cycle of despair...but that's not quite how things work. MY pain isn't going to illuminate YOUR path. But sometimes it's so hard to see such suffering. Just everywhere. And all I want to do is help. I actually have this strange daydream sometimes that one day I run a country retreat. People would come and just quiet themselves. I'd feed them clean food, they'd breathe fresh air, get lost in the stars, learn to love silence, pet a chicken, meditate and just SLOW DOWN. Because peace is so much closer than we know. But humility reminds me that I DON'T have all the answers. And my ego assures me that I DO. And a four part post ensues...