I haven't talked to you guys in a while. So I wanted to check in :) As you have noticed I moved to Poland to sort of. .. See where I am as a person. Having lived in China for more than four years I needed more different experiences. However, the biggest push was that I stopped getting excited about things and felt stuck.
Moving back home allowed me to reconnect and recheck where I am. (who I am?) (an ongoing process)
Now, being back I have an odd feeling of being terribly misplaced. Woohoo.
The biggest conundrum is that... while I was living in China I had amazing people around me, the best friends out there, a wonderful job, a great appartment, wonderful environment altogether. I was in a technically great place but felt off. Now I am in a place I dreaded, and still I am feeling off.
Before this gets too depressive I want to say that, yes, there are moments when I feel happy and satisfied. It's not a constant but I feel a cloud of sorts hovering over my life. (I know it's not the world, it's me, trust me - done all the thinking possible)
The upside is that, I have been trying to be patient, and have been focusing on the good things, as well as meditating and just going through the work of it all. And connecting. Showing up for things, caring, remembering stuff.
But, I also feel that being an expat is a state of mind, and I am wondering where it's gonna take me.
There s no conclusion. I just value transparency. And I wouldn't want any of you getting the wrong impression about this feed. This feed is a pursuit of happiness, of life :) Sending all the love to you all.