This year has been quite a swim upstream.
Admitting it out loud makes me feel so vulnerable & weak.
Until I realised how shielding from these feelings was effectively closing myself off from love, strength & connection.
They both come through the same door, shutting one out means shutting out the other.
I’ve been navigating a transition, learning & unlearning.
As with all transitions, they can sometimes be daunting, confusing & chaotic.
Cuz my retreats saw smaller turnouts, it made me question my work & transition.
I felt a lot of self doubt, insecurity, uneasiness & a lack of confidence in all that I did.
As a teacher mentor, I felt “inauthentic” sharing how to navigate teaching & life when I felt like I was struggling in mine too.
But the truth is, even the most successful teachers experience lulls in their career, feel lost in their own teaching & stuck in life.
Teachers that I admire most redefine the student-teacher relationship by accepting that life is a mystery & have the willingness to learn alongside their students.
These Teachers are also the ones that have been through the lull enough times to know that this is what transition feels like, that it neither lasts nor defines their worth.
So I decided to acknowledge my fears & openly share with my students how I’ve been feeling, how it colours the way I want teach.
That I was first & foremost human before I was their teacher.
That I valued authenticity & I’m here to connect, create meaningful experiences with them.
So I let vulnerability pave the way.
My ego took a backseat & something inside me softened, creating more space for love & authenticity.
Vulnerability is my teacher & my answer when I really pay attention to my heart.
It is the driving force of connection, the glue that holds the web.
It is brave.
It is tender.
And we cannot fully be or connect without it.
When I allowed myself to enter vulnerability, it expanded the space I shared with my students.
It gave them the permission to be vulnerable, to live with their heart hanging out.
The more we practice vulnerability, the more honest the dialogue, reminding us just what real strength and courage look like.