Depression is a funny thing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Some people ignore it. Pretend it doesn’t exist. That it’s not important, significant or even real. Some people believe it’s a figment of our imagination, in other words; “just think positively and it’ll go away”. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Depression isn’t a state of low mood. It isn’t being slightly sad, or upset, or grumpy. Depression makes you breathless. It takes your breath away. It cuts off any voice or words you have. Anything you wanted to say or do is gone. You may planned your whole day, month, but you’re incapable of moving. Trapped inside your own body and mind. It’s leaving you voiceless. Powerless. It makes your legs fold, twice. It takes all of your strength, your willpower, your enthusiasm, confidence, belief and faith. It takes away your flourishing mind, your reliance for humanity, your patience, your joy, your happiness, your freedom from doubt. Instead, it works as it pleases. One day good, the other you can’t get out of your bed. Another day you are smiling, the next your eyes are so swollen you can barely open them. One day you are fortunate and grateful to live, the next you don’t want to live. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
People always tell me “I would never have guessed you’ve suffered from depression or even anxiety, you’re always smiling and so happy!”. That’s what’s so deceptive, this condition does not choose sides. My inner self is still there, but sometimes clouded, at times like a labyrinth maze; it’s there, but I have to work hard to find it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not always have strength, willpower, encouragement or energy. Just remember this; it’s not the end, and don’t ever let the depression take control over you.
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