Award winning Mental Health Blogger
Founder of @MH_Stories_
Healing from PTSD
Mindful & ethical lifestyle
North West, UK
I am constantly blown away by the power of sharing and expressing ourselves and our stories.
Sometimes sharing our own emotions can help other people to feel theirs and that is actually so important in the times we live in!
Earlier this week, I shared a lot of emotions on my story talking a little bit about my experience of being sexually abused. Which I was so dissociated from for the past few years. I didn't want to look at this part of my life or think about it.
But, somewhere deep inside I found some courage to actually look at the pain and recent flashbacks dreams kind of forced me to as well.
The pain, guilt and shame that came with it felt almost unbearable. I felt so heartbroken for my teenage self who trusted someone for years, and who actually really was so toxic in my life. I felt so ashamed that I didn't know any better.
But, yet with allll of the feeeels that I finally allowed myself to feel came so much freedom. I felt like a huge weight dropped off my shoulders.
I felt so fragile, but yet so in peace.
Huge part of me sharing my vulnerabilities on here is to help others through my own experience. But, something I'm always very conscious of is to actually walk my own talk. So, there I was 100% in, allowing myself to FEEL. As uncomfortable and painful as it was, it was also very temporary.
I know that pain still does and will arise and I will try my best to be present with it. Because I know on the other side of pain there is freedom, there is love, peace and so much JOY.
And I'm ready to take my power back.
I'm finding so much strength I didn't even know I had through this turbulent healing process.
For every single person who has shared their story with me or is not ready to talk about their own experience just yet I just want you to remember that you are NOT ALONE in this.
The abuse you have experienced doesn't and will never define you!
You are stronger than you think.
Dancing has been in my life since a very young age. I’m pretty sure it was my first love. However, growing up in any competitive environment, where you are constantly compared to other people can be really damaging.
I grew up as a chubby kid/teenager, and I didn’t feel like there was any place for me in the dancing or even performing world.
I never stopped loving dance though. But, I did think I wasn’t worthy of doing things that I love because of the way my body looked and not feeling good enough.
Things are so very different now. Dance has been so healing for me and my journey. First of all I stopped comparing myself to everyone else. And started to connect with my body and appreciate it for what it is! An incredible vessel that allows me to experience this beautiful life.
I now dance for JOY! I focus more on how it FEELS to my soul and how freeeeing it is to my body! #DanceForJoy
What realllly makes your soul happy?
Do you wish you could more of that? Why don’t you?
Music by @jeremyloops Songs (in that order)-See I wrote it for you, -Thieves, -Runaway kids, -Down South.
Wearing: Trousers @lucyandyak
My Warr;or tee (link in bio) #ethicalfashion
There are times when I dissociate from my own feelings. Times where I would rather emotionally eat than face them. Times when I don’t really want to look at the pain, and would much rather distract and disconnect myself from it.
There are times when I’m scared that those uncomfortable emotions would become too much, that they would completely swallow me up, with no way out.
There are times when I have to constantly remind myself that IT IS OKAY TO FEEL and actually allllow myself to feeel.
Healing can only happen when we allow ourselves to feel.
Reminding ourselves, that all of the emotions are temporary. As uncomfortable and painful as they might be, they are our teachers.
When we can hold that space for ourselves and allow ourselves to feel them they really can become less overwhelming and can actually (and usually do) pass so much quicker.
Less disconnecting & more allowing, more expressing, more accepting ourselves right where are, right now
In a society that glamourises the constant hustle, it can be extremely challenging to slow down and actually allow ourselves to do NOTHING.
It is something I often struggle with. I honestly do prefer when I'm full of energy, dancing around and getting shit done.
But, I do have to remind myself that I'm only a human.
Allowing myself to rest, take it easy and recharge my own battery is just as important! And actually is so much more beneficial when I don't resist it.
So, while my phone has been sent to repair and getting it's battery changed, I'm allowing myself to kick back, focus on recharging my own battery and do more of nothing
How does your inner battery feel? Do you need more of that balance?🧡
You’re probably not here for the perfect selfies, but if you are you might want to look away now #sorrynotsorry
“People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.” - @abrahamhickspublications . This is one of my favourite quotes from Abraham Hicks. It has created a huge shift in my life and the way I view myself.
Whenever I feel more affected by other people’s judgements I know that is my cue to spend more with mySELF!
It really is empowering to be able to accept yourself, your own personality and actually embrace who you are.
We are all so unique, in every aspect!
Beauty is what we make it,
let's celebrate our differences,
love ourselves and our bodies for what they are!
And remember that you are ENOUGH, exactly as we are, right NOW!
Feeling myself in my @shethinx period pants (while my uterus is screaming & kicking on the inside🤪)!
I am super happy to say that I’ve completely cut out using pads/tampons now!! Which, not only feels amazing for my bottom (thanks to that organic cotton), but helps to reduce the usage of plastic! Helping the environment, and helping my bank account!
I love nothing more than supporting brands that do amazing things and spread important messages. @shethinx is committed to offering sustainable alternatives to traditional period products, as well as combating period poverty and menstrual inequity in all its forms, while smashing taboos about menstruation and menstrual health in general!
Definitely worth checking and giving them a try! Now available online as of today - you can swipe up to get yours in my stories! @SheThinx#THINXSelfridges#ad#THINX
We are nature.
It is not something separate from us. When we say/feel that we have lost the connection to nature, we’ve lost our connection to ourselves.
I used to dream of days where I would be able to feel more peace and actually appreciate it. Both within my body and my mind.
Even though working on the mind is a daily thing. I’m so thankful for being able to find more peace, acceptance and love within. That is truly priceless.
We are nature, we can learn so much from it.
Stillness. Beauty. Peace. It is alll around us.
And yup, I spent majority of my birthday in my birthday suit & it felt great!! Recovery really can feel so flipping incredible (at times)!!
Celebrating another trip around the sun!
Last year I decided that I wanted to celebrate myself and my life more often than just one day of the year.
Now, I don’t just talk about gratitude, but I FEEEEL immense gratitude for everything around me, more than I have ever felt before!
And I am so incredibly grateful for being able to share a little bit of my journey on here and connect with so many wonderful souls
I hope you enjoy some of the BTS of this photo. I’m so not used to other people taking photos of me! And I was asking my mum what I was supposed to do with that hand/what looked ‘better’, I guess you can decide on that one🤪
Doesn’t this drawing just perfectly sums me up?!
The wonderful and SO talented @katieabey (make sure you check her out!) drew me!!!! And I’m so blown away by it!!! I’m even wearing my Warr;or tee!! Which you can still get from the link in @innerstand_ldn ’s bio! •
Morning / evening ‘transformation photo’
Our bodies change!!! And can look different depending on the lighting, angle and the time of the day!
The transformation picture you might have seen on an ad for the ‘perfect diet’, might be (most likely is) fake - just consider that.
I used to weight myself AT LEAST twice a day. And of course, in the evening it would be the worse. I would feel like such a failure for putting on some extra weight! In a matter of hours??!? I didn’t get how I could wake up feeling & looking so much ‘skinnier’ than I did by the time I went to bed. And I used to beat myself up for it.
Now, by actually learning to listen to my body and observing it, I see just how normal that is! Getting bloated is extremely common, whether it’s from the foods you might have eaten or from PMSing, it doesn’t need to make us feel worse about ourselves!
Our bodies are wonderful vessels that allow us to experience this beautiful life, they do so much for us! And they deserve our love and kindness! We are WORTHY of self love, no matter what our bodies look like!
In a world of Kim K’s wannabes, filters, airbrushing and pretending like we all have our shit together when in fact majority of us really don’t- being able to be vulnerable is a very beautiful thing.
We are all human beings, with all kinds of normal human emotions. So, why do we still shame ourselves for feeling them?
I’m guilty of this myself. From the depths of depression’s numbness, to being able to feel things so, so deeply that it can be exhausting. But, it’s actually more exhausting when I shame myself for that, or wish those emotions/feelings were different.
As I’m learning more and more to embrace whatever life throws at me. I’m learning to sit with the darkness and make friends with those emotions, intrusive thoughts and anxieties.
Often times it’s my best guidance system, it let’s me know when things have gone out of whack. It let’s me know how important tending to my own needs really is. Reminding me, that self care is never selfish.
When was the last time you leaned into your darkness? When was the last time you stayed long enough with it, didn’t run away from it, but just allowed to be what it’s there. Felt and embraced the vulnerability. Reminded yourself that you are only a human, doing your very best.
Self love and kindness is what we need more, especially during those times!🧡
Sometimes recovery wins look like this! Bought a first bodysuit swimsuit in my life and ACTUALLY feel fucking badass wearing it!! And also, it’s from an ethical brand @batoko (which so many of you have recommended it to me when I asked on my story!). It’s made from recycled plastic bottles, fishnets and consumer waste!! Which makes me so incredibly happpppy because recycling& bananas for lyf!!!🤩
It’s been at least over 12 years since I’ve owned one! Even as a 10 year old kid I remember just how bothered I was about my stomach being ‘too big’ and those things were my worst nightmare!!! Talking about things a 10 year old shouldn’t need the feel to care about!!
Learning to love my body for what it is and what it does for me has been a journey! But I do like to pause at times and just appreciate how far I’ve come.
We are always worthy of self love, no matter what our bodies look like!
And are ENOUGH! Just as we are, right now!
If you are seeking one to one guidance to help you with body image issues, confidence or any aspects of self love (including & not limited to self care, self acceptance, self trust) send me an email to email@example.com for more info on my Self Love + Confidence coaching sessions. My approach comes from my own personal battle (+ qualifications & courses I’ve completed ) with PTSD, anxiety, eating disorders, depression and body dysmorphia.