A few nights ago Mike and I were having one of our deep life chats about where we wanted to grow as individuals, what we wanted for our family, etc… It got me reflecting about how easily I can be strayed from my path. 12 years ago I started my yoga journey and three years into that I became a teacher. It’s hard to believe, but nine years later I have made a career out of sharing my passion for yoga and movement. I’ve learned my passion is not traveling the world and teaching although it’s quite fun and I’m so grateful for the people I meet when I do travel to teach. My passion is teaching at one local studio and building community. I love seeing the same people each week and watching, not only, their physical practice blossom but emotionally and mentally seeing them evolve too. After the dramatic entrance of our son Adler I’ve thought a lot about what I want out of 2018 and have come to the conclusion that I want to be home in Red Deer, AB more. This means weekly classes at @breathingroomrd! Fortunately I have partnered with @codyapp (who was recently acquired by @aloyoga) in a way that it makes it possible for me to stay home more next year. Lots of new online content headed your way! I will teach at a few festivals, but all travel will be limited. One thing I’d love to do is get two retreats set up for 2018. I’ve learned that I hate organizing retreats, but love leading them. Are any of you passionate about organizing these types of events? If so, message me! Let’s work together. 2018 is going to be the year I ask for help. I let others support me more, so that I can get back to focusing on my passions. What are you planning for your 2018? I’d love to hear from and learn more about you. Leave me a comment & I’ll give your profile some love. xoxo
This old picture taken by @fitflexjuli for @zenrezfitness serves as motivation for me to step back on to my mat consistently again now that I’ve been cleared to move! I’m a ways away from touching my feet to my head again, but with practice I’m sure it will come. Little known fact this picture was taken in April 2017 days before I found out I was pregnant.
I feel like a broken record because I keep saying “I can’t believe…” but it’s true that the past 7 weeks of my life have felt like a vivid dream. Adler has been out of the NICU and home for almost a week now! The past week I’ve been moming so hard that I haven’t felt like writing. The most I could manage was an instastory here and there. I wanted to give you guys a quick update though. As I mentioned in previous posts feeding Adler has been quite a journey. When we were in Germany he was breastfeeding and being fed through his NG tube, when we got to the Red Deer NICU they encouraged bottle-feeding him because one of the criteria to be discharged was that he had to take 80% of his feeds from a nipple (either breast or bottle). @steel_pony and I made the decision to give him more bottles since he wasn’t having much success transferring milk from my breast and we wanted to get him home ASAP. Developmentally the suck, shallow and breath reflexes develop late in the third trimester so it wasn’t shocking he wasn’t getting a ton of milk from my breast since he just didn’t have that coordination yet. Upon being discharged our midwife encouraged me to breastfeed him as much as possible and top him off with the bottle if breastfeeding was my goal. This scared me shitless since I didn’t think he was getting much milk from my breast and was spitting up a bunch. I sat with that fear and decided to trust in Adler and my ability. I strictly breastfed him for 3 days with exception to one bottle. A few days later our midwife came back to our house to weigh Adler as a way to track how he was eating/growing. It turns out he’s a pro now (not unlike mom - who is also eating ravenously)! He’s putting on an ounce a day and now weighs 7 lbs!! Considering that less than 6 weeks ago he was born just over 4 lbs I think he’s doing fantastically. I am such a proud mom. I intend on writing a massive blog post sharing tons of intimate details, but right now I rather cuddle my little man. Work can wait. Thank you all for your support throughout this wild ride. I look forward to sharing my experience as a mom and the rediscovery of my body postpartum. CONT
Adler, I can’t believe that you have been with us for four weeks. In those fast four weeks you have proven time and time again what a trooper you are. In your short time earthside you’ve been to four countries! Starting your journey in Germany, then stopping in Iceland and Greenland before making it to your home country of Canada. You’ve been to four hospitals. People keep telling us how hard this journey should be for you but through it all you’ve remained calm and collected. You seem unphased by the chaos which puts your mommy to shame since some days she feels like she’s barely keeping it together. You have gained almost 1 kg since birth and keep trending upward. You love to sleep, eat and cuddle. Right now you are bottlefeeding like a pro (breastfeeding skills will come with a little more practice and age). The nice nurses and doctors say you may get to come home soon. You have such a calm and grounding presence yet for some reason I feel you’re going to give us a little bit of hell. Daddy claims you have a mischievous look and seems to think you get that from me! It all feels surreal that technically you should still be in my belly for four more weeks, but I would have it no other way than how it has played out. You have shown us what limitless love means. Our hearts have been burst wide open. We plan to keep growing and to be the best versions of ourselves for you. You deserve the world and we hope to give it to you. I love you my sweet son. Happy one month of making us a family!!
As of tomorrow I’ll be #1monthpostpartum! I can’t believe it’s been a month since Adler joined our family. I’ve recently started feeling how nursing and pumping is taking its toll on my body. I had a headache for two days, so yesterday I got a massage. Today I decided to softly move my body. Heart openers, albeit gentle ones, feel delightful not to mention got rid of my headache. This video is sped up several times. Don’t mind my rather serious face I’m watching/listening to Vampire Diaries while stretching per @kathrynbudig’s suggestion. I am taking care of myself so I can better show up for Adler. I finally got a chance to try out some of @aloyoga’s new winter line and if you want to too they’re having a sale right now. These high waisted lounge leggings are so soft and cozy. I may never take them off. I’m looking forward to getting to know my body again as I begin to move it. I plan on sharing that journey with you guys!
We made it home on Friday and per usual it’s been a whirlwind ever since. I’m so grateful to sleep in my own bed, but now our days are full of running back and forth to the hospital to see Adler. That chaos makes me feel anxious as does too much social interaction. I realized for the past month I’ve been isolated in a room and surrounded by 2-3 people max at a time. Now more people than that makes me feel overwhelmed. It’s starting to sink in that we just experienced, as one of the Canadian Immigration officers told me, something that shouldn’t have happened let alone the way that it did. It’s true that Adler’s birth story is one for the books. Just like Adler I need time to process and adapt to my new life. The constant demand of breastfeeding Adler, pumping, getting skin to skin time and trying to eat/sleep myself has left me in a perpetual 3 hour cycle. There’s the stress of getting him to nipple feed so that we can bring him home but at the same time not pushing him too hard so that he has nipple aversion. I suppose this is parenthood... am I doing enough? am I doing the right thing? I feel overwhelmed but at the same time I feel reassured that my love for this little guy will steer me in the right direction. This post has a different tone than most of mine because I think it’s important that you guys know that although 99% of the time I feel confident, positive, etc there are plenty of moments that I don’t and that’s okay. I’ve cried more in the past month than the past year. It’s ok to feel fully as you go through life’s grand experiences. That’s feeling both the highs and the lows. I hope that through my posts you don’t feel that you’re getting my highlight reel. I hope through my posts you feel my soul. There’s no doubt that these times would be MUCH, MUCH, MUCH more challenging without our family and loved ones who got our house ready for Adler, gave us baby clothes, and are still cooking us meals daily. We love you guys.
So we didn’t make it back to Red Deer yesterday as expected but the good news is that all “problems” fade away when Adler is in my arms. Mike snapped this photo of us after we arrived at the hospital in Winnipeg. Pure love captured. This whole whirlwind of an experience has made me realize how little is worth stressing about. Are we safe? Yes. Are we healthy? Yes. Are we surrounded by love? Yes. All is good. Loving my two boys hard this morning.
There’s one thing for certain... I’ll never forget you.
This photo was taken at @thegrooveyogafestival Hamburg the day my water broke.
As many of you know we (Mike, Adler and I) are on our way home. So far we’ve stopped in Iceland and Greenland. Next stop Canada!
Wearing my favorite brand @AloYoga pre, during and post pregnancy.
Adler update. In true Adler style his exit from Germany will be as exciting as his entrance. Tomorrow Mike, Adler and I fly in an air ambulance back to Canada. His first flight is a private jet with a team of three doctors just for him... seriously kid?! Our insurance has shown up for us in a major way. They’ve pulled all strings to get us home as fast as possible (Adler’s health and safety permitting). This child has created some of the most unexpected, challenging and enriching moments of my life and he has only been with us 19 days. Watch out Red Deer we’re coming for you!! Fingers crossed that after a brief stop at the NICU in Red Deer we will be released to go home once and for all. I’ve said it many times but it’s just not enough - thank you to those who helped us out by running errands in Hamburg, thank you to those of you who sent us premie clothes, thank you to those of you who donated to our YouCaring campaign, thank you to those who’ve sent prayers and good thoughts towards our family this past month. Adler will miss all his girlfriends aka the kind nurses who’ve taken care of him and let momma sleep through the 1am feed, but is excited and ready to meet his home and family.
I wrote this post while on our way to Hamburg, which is comical since our baby came 3 days later not two months. My feelings towards @steel_pony have only grown stronger since we first met two years ago today November 14th 2015. It feels impossible to love him more, but then we go through another life experience together and my love for him expands. I hope you enjoy the story of how we met and fell in love below. It continues into the captions. “As I sit on my flight from Calgary to Amsterdam with Mike across from me I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with love for this man. Life is such a crazy journey filled with twists and turns. I realized I've never shared our origin story. As fate would have it in 2015 I ended up teaching workshops in Red Deer, AB which is how we met. He attended one of my workshops (many don't know that besides farming he is also a yoga teacher). After that workshop we went to @bonneegregg’s house for an intimate pizza making party. There was some horrible flirting that occurred, since neither Mike or I have any game, ie sitting next to each other and wanting to touch legs but not, me being my usual somewhat bossy and controlling self... As the night was coming to a close I was desperately racking my brain for how we could spend more time together because I was really drawn towards his easy going nature and confidence in a room of women with big personalities, but sadly I couldn't get it together. I went home alone that night and the next day I flew to New York. It turns out Mike was as intrigued in me as I him. He sent me a message on Instagram using a podcast we had discussed as the reason he was reaching out. I read between the lines and responded immediately (again, no game). His next message to me was a picture of a hand written letter. We started hand writing each other letters back and forth. Having tried online dating very briefly it was so refreshing to communicate in a way where you had to be honest and transparent aka not texting (the worst way to communicate). Through these letters we started to get to know each other and fall in love. Mike decided to come to Seattle and visit me.” Cont’d
Now is your last chance to get my Prenatal Yoga series on @codyapp for $25! More so than these classes being the only thing you do during your pregnancy, I hope that you are able to find a community of other mommas around the world online when you log your workouts on Cody to share your experience with. I found so much comfort in hearing other women’s stories. They helped me feel a little less crazy, alone and isolated. More than ever, pregnancy and parenthood is about being able to ask for and accept help. Please know I am here to support you in your journey any way that I can.
I am so excited to be with you on this journey! xoxo
Knowledge is power, especially when you are an expectant mom! My goal in creating the Prenatal Yoga series on @codyapp was to empower women throughout their pregnancy and beyond. What questions do you have about the course?! Ask in the comments below!
Today is the last day to get over 5 hours of prenatal-specific flows, meditations, lectures, restorative work, and more for just $25! Go to codyapp.com/prenatalyoga or follow the link in my bio before it’s too late!
You guys! There are only 48 hours left to get my entire Prenatal series on @codyapp for $25! The knowledge you get in the lectures of this course not to mention the asana classes are invaluable and right now you can get the series for the price of a drop-in yoga class.
When I found out I was pregnant, I did a lot of research to supplement the knowledge I already had about pregnancy and found that there were a lot of rules, but not clear explanations of WHY. So I dug deeper to find the reasons behind many of the ‘Do’s’ and ‘Do Not’s.’ I injected that knowledge and insight into this plan so that other expectant moms can know the why’s behind their options and can decide for themselves what works best for their pregnancy – and after!
Follow the link in my bio for more information on the series! codyapp.com/prenatalyoga.