CALL ME KIM CARBDASHIAN
MAJOR BEHAVIOR SIRIUSXM CHANNEL 52 THURSDAYS 3-5 EST[email protected]
Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.
Asians are soooooo future.
TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH ONE SUPER LONG BRAID WHO IS DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH HORSES AND HAS HORSE STICKERS ALL OVER HER BINDER
It’s hotter than Djimon Hansou wearing a Montcler jacket in a sauna out there, people.
YOU DEFFFFFINITELY THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA THROW THIS CUTE ASS CORGI OUT OF A PLANE INTO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY (tw: @corgss)
I don’t care if you’re a Reddit shitposting anarchist knife enthusiast who believes Hillary Clinton is a reptile, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS (@doughbvy)
And I never encountered quicksand, which I was told would be an issue, plus nobody ever tried luring me into a van for “free candy”. I WAS A HUSKY CHILD WHAT THE FUCK PEDOS?? (@melecevida)
I PUT DESIGNER DRUGS IN MY BUTT 2 WEEKS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND I’M STILL NOT FEELING OK. DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP.
I whisper “WHAT THE FUCK” to myself at least 20 times a day.
I’d rather watch Steve Buscemi suck Mario Batali’s dick (yes, he’s wearing Crocs) than drink 8 cups of Dasani, because it’s literally diaper water.
MEGHAN MARKLE WENT FROM HANGING OUT WITH ME IN 2010 TO BEING AN ACTUAL LITERAL PRINCESS. STEP YOUR WHOLE MAN GAME UP.
Priest: Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Cardi: MMMMMM OKURRRRR FRRRRR OOOOOUUU YIP YIP YAAAAA BRRRRATTT AYYYYYYY OKURRRRRRR