thefatjewish@thefatjewish

CALL ME KIM CARBDASHIAN
🚨MAJOR BEHAVIOR SIRIUSXM CHANNEL 52 THURSDAYS 3-5 EST🚨[email protected]

http://WWW.SWISHBEV.COM/

Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.


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Asians are soooooo future.


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TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH ONE SUPER LONG BRAID WHO IS DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH HORSES AND HAS HORSE STICKERS ALL OVER HER BINDER


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It’s hotter than Djimon Hansou wearing a Montcler jacket in a sauna out there, people.


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YOU DEFFFFFINITELY THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA THROW THIS CUTE ASS CORGI OUT OF A PLANE INTO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY (tw: @corgss)


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I don’t care if you’re a Reddit shitposting anarchist knife enthusiast who believes Hillary Clinton is a reptile, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS (@doughbvy)


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And I never encountered quicksand, which I was told would be an issue, plus nobody ever tried luring me into a van for “free candy”. I WAS A HUSKY CHILD WHAT THE FUCK PEDOS?? (@melecevida)


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I PUT DESIGNER DRUGS IN MY BUTT 2 WEEKS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND I’M STILL NOT FEELING OK. DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP.


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I whisper “WHAT THE FUCK” to myself at least 20 times a day.


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I’d rather watch Steve Buscemi suck Mario Batali’s dick (yes, he’s wearing Crocs) than drink 8 cups of Dasani, because it’s literally diaper water.


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MEGHAN MARKLE WENT FROM HANGING OUT WITH ME IN 2010 TO BEING AN ACTUAL LITERAL PRINCESS. STEP YOUR WHOLE MAN GAME UP.


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Priest: Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Cardi: MMMMMM OKURRRRR FRRRRR OOOOOUUU YIP YIP YAAAAA BRRRRATTT AYYYYYYY OKURRRRRRR


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