"While I was girl of the year and superstar and all that crap, everything I did was really...motivated by psychological disturbance. But I'd, I'd make a mask out of my face because I didnt realize I was quite beautiful...I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all my hair off, my long dark hair, cut it off and strip it silver and blond. All these little maneuvers I did out of things that were happening in my life that upset me. I'd freak out in a very physical way, and...it was all taken in a fashion trend."