So many men wants to compete, but nobody wants to compete on the same terms. Just look at elite sports!
I do not judge people for using gear (outside drug tested sports!). I don't think less of them as a person, or any of that typical bullshit that many "proud natties" do (as if there is something unforgiveably, morally wrong about using... Even if it was, would you like to be judged as a person over ONE choice? We've all done stupid shit to be judged for, if that's the point.. ). Nothing is black and white. So don't misunderstand. But if someone competes with me, they better be around 90-94 kg in bodyweight, LIFE TIME drug free and around 180 cm tall. No edge.
Point is: Find someone that is similar to YOU, if you really need to compete so bad. Beating a drug free athlete, on gear, is NOT an achievement. That's EASY. Everyone could do it. Being stronger, if you have 10 kilos on someone, is NOT an achievement. If you want to boost your ego, be real with yourself - pick out the REAL powerlifting elites, around your OWN bodyweight and "natty status", and THEN compare. Good luck.
I've said it before - I'll say it again: Gym competing is ONLY for insecure people. Easy as that. It's RUDE to prance around like a diva and try to constantly boost your own ego by low key always "finding out" what your "nemesis" is doing - only to then try to beat them. You'll look like a giant sissy. Everyone who's experienced these people, will attest to this. FRIENDLY, polite people don't compete in the gym (we're talking outside of arranged sports events, of course!). And no, having a "competitive mindset" or "high testosterone", is not a reason - I've heard these excuses, and if anything, they just ADD to the impression of the person feeling inferior. These people need to just man the fuck up and be GOOD, PROPER people instead. You vs. you. No bullshit. Training in the weight room is about being ANGRY when you don't hit that PR, and genuinly HAPPY on behalf of your friend if they beat their own PR; NOT the other way around. Being surpassed in athleticism by someone, should mean nothing to you.
Surround yourself with a good crew. Or do the shit alone! Remove ALL distractions.