I fell so hard this time. I fell harder than I even thought was possible. I lost him and i deel like a bit of light has been taken drom my soul. Like my lefr hand has been chopped of. I lost my best friend. I wanted to spend forever with him. I accepted, and loved everything about him. His smile i loved the most. It is no longer mine. And i cry every single day that.i lost him. I cry evey single night that he is not there next to me. I cry every single day because his love, his heart, hia passion, is energy and spirit are no longer mine. I feel so lost. I feel so alone. And i cang believe that rhis is real. What happened??? I wish wirh all thar I am that I could go nack and change things. We have talked anout it a milliins times. The things we noth wouldve done differant. So, ok, then... lets try again. Lets be better partners and shut everyine else our and be each others world again.
I have never felt such pain. I havent looked or even thought of anyone other than him since we met. I hate myself for losing him. Everyday without him has NOT gotten easier. I feel like i jist lost him yesterday, or an hour ago. A peice of me is missing. I hate this. Ihate this so much. #broken #alone #heartbroke #shattered #destroyed #angry #bitter #denial #hope #sorrow #cryeverynight #hell #lostmylove #lostmybestfriend #whydidthishappen #wanthimback #lovehimwithallyhatIam #lostabitoflightfrommysoul #depressed #ptsdruinedmylife #PTSDsucksballs #ptsdsurviver #ptsdwarrior #mylifehasnomeanjng