Confession time I was ALWAYS super insecure about my body. I am 5’1 and weight under 100 pounds. I kind of still am, if I’m being completely honest.
A lot of people think that being skinny is a “blessing” and people say that I was so “lucky”. I didn’t feel lucky. In fact, I hated everything about outward appearance and every comment that came with it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“You should eat more”
“You’re so tiny. What do you weight 20 pounds?”
“Do you even eat?”
“You need some meat on those bones”
“Ever have any eating disorders or struggle with food”
I would laugh it off and say something like “no, I eat! I love food. I really eat, I promise”. But every comment reminded me of my insecurities; they dug deeper and deeper into that part of me that had not much more to give. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve been hearing this for 25 years. I hated summer time because that meant it was time for shorts and tanks. But what did I have to show? Bones. I would wear sweaters and hoodies, long sleeves and jeans all summer long because I didn’t want the comments. It was too much on my esteem.
These days there is a lot of body shaming happening. Whether you’re tall, short, curvy or skinny we all get it. We all have this inner voice that whispers in our ears telling us that we must fit in this body that society built. We have been so brainwashed that sometimes we give looks and comments that we don’t really mean because our society gave us this “yard stick” that we keep in our back pocket to measure each other by. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I must confess that this weekend was magical for me because I had the opportunity to work with LOTS of women that don’t look like me. They struggle with the same things that I do, but in a different way. I personally was bracing myself for the comments I’ve been hearing all my life, but got none. They were so supportive, fun, loving, non-judgements and had beautiful souls. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
They could’ve commented on my outward appearance but chose to feed my soul instead. Hearing their stories inspired me so much at the @xeharcury conference. #bodypositivity #aconfidentyou