I recently got the honor of sharing a little on marriage at my best friend's wedding shower. I know I'm no expert. We've only been married three years.. but I think the length of time you've spent doing something doesn't need to make you feel inferior when sharing advice. We serve a Lord who IS an expert on marriage and because of that, we can be confident in what he says.. Here's an excerpt from my talk:
The goal of marriage is always more of Christ in us. Through us. More of knowing Christ. The goal isn’t to manipulate one another to obey Christ more. I think we like when our spouses and friends look more “put-together” on the outside. The heart is always more important. The outside should be a real reflection of the heart.
How do we allow Christ more of ourselves? It’s so so simple. So simple that I hope it doesn’t pass in one ear and out another as I say it. It’s through faith. Everything pleasing to God is through faith- which, to say it more simply even, is belief.
Our main goal in marriage is to sharpen one another to live pleasing, lovely lives- and He says cleary what pleases him- “Without faith it is impossible to please God.” We’re not living focused on how our husbands are meeting our expectations or even how we can somehow get them to do better things. We’re aiming for the heart.
I think a lot of times we can go into marriage with expectations that are shaped by our culture. Why am I not getting flowers and notes every day? Why is he not opening the car door for me? Why are we not going on long walks all the time? Or why isn’t he telling me all these sentimental whisperings all day everyday!? Is that really what God’s intention is for marriage? Those things can be an expression of joy and satisfaction in a marriage, but they aren’t the goal.
We can allow God more of us when we practice faith in the everyday interactions with our spouses. One way to start is by believing what God has said about our spouses.
In their saved Position, He has said they’re redeemed. They’re forgiven. They’re washed. They’re his children, They’re his bride, They’re his inheritance. They’re wonderfully made..
(Read on at my blog- link in bio)