So, I am going through a bit of a crisis. Well, really it's #firstworldproblems because, in reality, my life is just fine. But I remind myself daily that one's issues & feelings are all relative to where you are in your own life & right now these feelings are relevant to me.
I want to appreciate life. I want to appreciate the things we own, the life we live, I want to do things with purpose, and I want to enjoy my husband & my children. That's not to say I don't do all of those things right now, but I can tend to lose myself easily, mostly because I am such a creature of habit. I set such a rigid schedule for myself that if I fall off my own wagon, I'm paralyzed. This, in turn, makes me appreciate less the things that I am doing right. It's a very strange, very sad cycle that I tend to get wrapped up in. I set these goals for myself, little ones mostly revolving around my daily work, and if I don't achieve them each day I feel I have failed. That's what has happened these past two weeks, I have not met my own expectations Strange, isn't it? To an outsider looking in, things look just dandy, but really I am struggling on the inside. When you work for yourself there's no one checking your time card, no one is paying you a salary, everything begins & ends with you. Add being a mother of two & a wife into that mix & you can have a recipe for disaster.
So, I want to be more patient with myself, allow myself to take Sundays entirely off & just enjoy my life. I know there are other work from home families who can relate to me when I say this; when your home is your place of work you can never really stop working. I know what you're all going to say, you're going to tell me to do whatever is right for me & my family ️ But if you know me well you'll know that I have to explain things thoroughly, spell it out to the ones I love WHY I'm changing something. So this is me spelling it out to you guys & I love you all for letting me do so Love & bonnets, guys