Lately, life has felt more and more overwhelming, like some dangerous dance between the old and the new, the dark and the light, getting hammered and drinking in moderation, suicidal depression and melancholy, feeling like life can't go on and just a bad day, etc. A dance where one misstep, wrong choice, or wrong move and it will all tumble like some pre-arranged set of dominoes or a house of cards. It feels fragile. Edgy. On the verge of some great transformation - for better or for worse. Maybe neither and maybe both. Maybe?
Maybe I'm reacting to recent readings on shadow work, the true and false Self, and going through a painful yet transformative time in a role as a caregiver, son, beyond burnt-out teacher, terrible Christian and part-time sane man. Perhaps?
Either way, I feel like I'm walking a line. It's not bad but it's also not good, to me, honestly - it is what it is.
This picture best describes my mood right now. Feel free to draw conclusions or form opinions on it because I can't tell you what I'm feeling. I just know I edited this sky until it "felt right" so I hope when you look at it, you feel something - anything. If you don't, then I'll feel I've failed you and I'd rather not because I already feel as if I've let enough people down lately - even if it's just been myself.
This is dedicated to anyone who feels like their Day is turning to Night, remember the words of Tolkien and may we all search for the stars because no matter how black the Night - the bright spots, the gifts of Life known as Stars are scattered all around us, we just have to search for them and know we are NEVER alone. “He should not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall." J.R.R. Tolkien