the sad thing is, they'll never know. they'll never know how sad you are and you just can't tell them. because how do you look at your favourite person in the world and tell them that you aren't as happy as you play out to be. how do you look at the most beautiful human, and tell them "im broken", and watching their smile slowly fade. how do you handle being responsible for being a burden on their happiness? how do you say how you're feeling when you open your mouth and no words come out because no word in any language in the entire world can sum up the amount of agonizing pain that you're in.
these are things i wonder to this day. some days i don't know what im doing here. sadness takes over, anxiety fills to the rim. but im still here, years into this pain. im here because i want to give myself a fair chance to be happy. im here because i care about my loved ones, no matter how much the voices in my head tell me that they don't care about me either, i know my love for them is stronger than that. i know my love for this universe is stronger than any misery it casts upon me. there are times when i give up, so many times. it's not like one day you'll wake up and everything will magically be okay. i know that. but please just listen before you dismiss this post. please, keep hanging on. i promise you that you aren't a burden on anyone's happiness, even if you reject this statement, read it five times. you are worthy of life and happiness. you are worthy of love and being loved. even if you're in a place where you know you aren't loved by people because they're abusing you, live anyways because family isn't always people you're born with, but the family you create along the way. i know the loneliness and pain of no one understanding is killing you, and that explaining your pain to people who simply blame you, takes pieces of you away. but please, keep hanging on. because one day you'll be 35 and have your own family, a job, and maybe kids and a spouse. or maybe not. my point is- pain is temporary, but suicide is permanent. so you should stay here and fight.
i believe in you tremendously. i love you, angel.
comment "love" if this caption helped you in any way.