Since her passing, I have asked my grandma everyday to send me a sign that she is okay, that she is at peace now. She may have sent me 100 signs by now and I just don't know. I don't know how all of this works. I've lost people in my life but I have never lost someone so deeply rooted in my heart. My love for nature, and sports, and everything beautiful stemmed from her and definitely my fiestiness. Our hands were identical, I loved that so much. Our hair, the same. All I have ever wanted in the end is to be a mom, if I'm half the woman/mom she was, I know I'm doing something right (she raised four boys who all grew up to be doctors). My heart still hurts everyday, but maybe that just means that she was such an incredible person that she makes it impossible to say goodbye.