#real #feels looong post...
My biggest fear knowing how much weight I've needed to lose has always been #looseskin.
Not so much vanity, just the kick of it when trying so hard.
My body has passed into burning fat it hasn't touched for nearly twenty years, and I don't recognize me. My wrists, my calves, my neck, my face. Gracious my middle, hips, poor arms. Ugh! Ewww!
My senior year, when I first lost sixty pounds on Protein Power, I started out weighing just eleven pounds less than my weight today. That sixty pounds I lost was so short lived--I gained that back plus a hundred more in short order--that I have no idea what a smaller body is supposed to look like on me. I've been heavy all my life, there's no compass, no roadmap back to a 'normal' for me. So I find myself in a place of giddiness and excitement, along with a new sort of revulsion and distress. Look how big these clothes are!!! Yay! Look how revoltingly jiggly everything is...gag.
Scientifically what is happening is incredible, it floors me, fascinates me. I love it. With my MS diagnosis adjustment I'm in a weird place emotionally. It's always been "If I just lose this weight, I can..." Now the stone cold realization is that even once this weight is finally gone, that miraculous change I've never nailed down for myself, I will still have MS. And yet this disease that's been with me silently all these years has been held at bay and I'm still mobile (mostly, exhaustion comes fast for my legs) BECAUSE of returning time and again to my passion for lchf, and now MS is the catalyst that fuels my continued journey. Typically I'd have drowned these emotions in all manner of disgusting carbs. But not today. Or tomorrow. Loose skin is a stamp of survival, of success, of becoming a warrior. I'm claiming just that, and holding it tight.
I'll just be over here sipping bone broth and dry brushing. 😉❤
#ketosis #transformation #ketogenic #ketodiet #ketolife #ketofood #ketolifestyle #ketoeats #ketorecipes #cleanketo #lowcarb #lchf #lowcarbfoods #lowcarbdiet #lowcarbideas #eatfatlosefat #lowcarbstyle #lowcarbliving #healthy #glutenfree #dairyfree #wellness #eattoheal #weightloss #foodideas