Are you Codependent?
Over a year ago, I found out that I was codependent. I had never heard of the term before, however, upon reading a book suggested by my business coach, I was was utterly shocked and surprised how the author described my exact daily actions as a wife, mom and entrepreneur.
What is codependency?
A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him/her, and is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior. The other person might be a child, an adult, a lover, a spouse, a brother, a sister, a grandparent, a parent, a client, or a best friend. He/she could be an alcoholic, a drug addict, a mentally or physically ill person, or a normal person who occasionally has sad or confused feelings.
At the heart of it, recovery from co-dependency doesn’t lie with the other person, no matter how much we may believe it does; it lies in ourselves. With the ways we have let other people’s behaviors affect us, and in the ways we try to affect them. As women, we can tend to do a lot of controlling, excessive helping, care taking, low self worth, bordering on self hatred, self repression, abundance of anger and guilt, bending over backward to avoid hurting other people’s feelings, peculiar dependency on peculiar people, communication problems, intimacy problems, worrying yourself sick about other people, and trying to help in ways that cause us stress.
Codependency isn’t a disease. However, we need to know what are the behaviors of co-dependents, and take the steps to rid ourselves of it. It’s natural to want to help and protect the people we care about, and it's also natural to want to cure the problems of people around us. But as the problem gets more serious and unresolved, we become more affected and react more intensely to it.
This week we will have an intense and real discussion about this issue and look at ways we can overcome it as women and mompreneurs. Look out on Wednesday for an email where I share the characteristics of codependents. You will find that there are some you will immediately identity with.
Does this topic resonate with you? Hit reply and let me know if you believe you are in some way.