There are a lot of misconceptions about domestic violence. One I hear a lot is “Why don’t they just leave? If my significant other hit me, I’d just leave.” Sounds reasonable, right? But it’s not that simple. Very, very few people would stay if they got verbally abused and hit on a first date. Often abusive relationships start and seem “perfect”, with few fights, and lots of early commitments. But making commitments quickly is one way abusers control their victims and make it harder to leave. Then the victim begins not to live up to the expectations of the abuser, because those expectations aren’t reasonable and are impossible to sustain. Then the abuser blames their victim for their own disappointment. By the time the victim is suffering grave abuse, they feel so committed and trapped by the abuser’s manipulation that they often feel they have few options, and many blame themselves for the abuse they’re suffering.
Some signs to be on the lookout for of abuse in friends and loved ones
-Becoming isolated from their friends and family. This is a control tactic, to make a victim feel like they have few options to leave.
-Blaming themselves for their partner’s unacceptable behavior.
-Questioning their own sanity and behavior when discussing their partner or asking for advice.
-Spending unusual amounts of time and effort to report on their location and/or spending of money.
-Having unreasonable expectations of a partner’s future behavior—that each bad fight is the last, that unacceptable behavior will change after repeated failure to do so.
Nobody can make a victim leave an abuser, but you can be there for them if and when they finally make the decision to leave. #kravmaga #domesticabuse #domesticviolence #selfdefense