Mmmhmm the sooner we settle into this truth the more relational landminds and emotional blowouts we’ll gracefully avoid.
Why is it so darn enticing to chase after someone who is clearly not leaning in and coming towards you with the same level of excitement and intentionality?
Because our unconscious love template tells us our worth is wrapped up in the approval and validation of another’s love.
And guess what friends this is in all of us to a degree. Nothing to feel shameful about, honestly it’s ok that we’ve been operating from a self-love and high quality relational deficit given we weren’t exactly given the proper models for how to do love well.
Left unchecked and unexplored though, these unconscious wounding patterns set us up to keep reliving (and choosing) people who reinforce those old self-defeating narratives.
Unhooking from the addiction of converting someone who is ambivalent about us to someone who is head over heels in love with us is not easy given our culture likes to reinforce this idea a lot (hello rom-coms). But know this, playing this game is one of the most self-rejecting things we can do.
Someone’s lack of interest in you doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It means misalignment and relationships between misaligned humans are the opposite of fun and fulfilling.
Valuing an aligned relationship with a human you have resonance with in all the key areas (mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually and spiritually), is what we’re moving towards if we’re truly committed to having a legitimate partnership where both people thrive.
But until we heal the part of us that is seeking wholeness through another, we keep running into these types of tormenting relational dynamics.
You deserve alignment.
And good news, that’s all within your control to create the conditions for.
It starts with loving letting the people who aren’t a full hearted YES to you (or you to them) go. This applies to all forms of relational dynamics, gotta clean up how we’re relating as a whole before there is space for that high quality life mate to show up.
This weekends webinar is a gentle place to start this unlearning and healing, see you there!! (Link in bio)