today is low. a lot lower than it has been in a while, which is frustrating because I was having a really good run. I think I’m just a bit over feeling like I’m being graded on everything I do, like I have to always be looking to improve or be better instead of just doing things for fun. I’ve been challenged so much with this new degree and I couldn’t be more thrilled that I’m excelling but I need time to feel like I’m doing something well, or that it doesn’t matter if I can’t do something too - that it’s fun just taking part instead of feeling pressure to be good at it. I’ve made so many positive steps recently, so many big steps too. I want time to enjoy these instead of being pushed to move on. I’ve spent so much time fighting to just stay alive that achieving something positive is such a monumental step. I don’t want to fight. I just want to be.