Perhaps the irony is there in that I got really reflective this morning and it's election day here. The USA is about to undergo a change that hopefully we'll be ready for. And while our future political outcome is quite interesting, I'd like to take moment for us to self-reflect.
While leaving my apartment this morning, I questioned myself. "When you were 10, thinking about the future...would you be happy with who you've become?" Man, that was too deep of a question for 7am, but I felt I owed it to current 23 year old me and my 10 year old self. I think 10 year old me would be in awe that I'm going for my Masters. She would be so supportive! Telling me that she never thought she'd be so smart. She'd shyly give me hugs and ask if she really has it in her. I'd ask her what she wants to do with her power. Because even at 10, I was a pretty cool kid, I just needed a reminder. I'd hear about her hopes to be helpful, and awesome, and hopeful the best, but she'd be okay if other people are better than her. As there's always someone better. I'd give her such a great big hug and tell her, "You have nothing to worry about. Just keep doing what you're doing." She'd probably ask how I handled my mixed heritage. I'd tell her she's gonna be proud and happy. I'd tell her to never forget where she comes from, because at that age, I struggled identifying where I belonged. I still struggle sometimes, but it's not so much as finding my place amongst millions of others. It's about finding myself and never forgetting that I AM of two cultures. Not one or the other. And while I do have childhood regrets, I wouldn't urge younger me to choose differently. The decisions I've made shaped me to who I am, and I've learned to live with my choices just as she will. And just as 36 year old me will learn to deal with the choices and decisions I make between now and then.
So this may be more than what you were expecting to read, but don't we owe it to ourselves to reflect? I am proud of who I've become and can't wait to meet 36 year old me.
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