Hi it's July 18th here i.e my birthday and I wanna say that every adjective in this video is exactly how I feel about myself. I'm still trying to overcome my insecurities and start appreciating myself but it's too fucking hard. I might act nonchalant and pretend people's opinions or words don't hurt me, but they do and that sucks. I was abandoned by my friends and I learned people only have me around as long as I'm useful to them, at the age of 8. I learned that I'm expendable, a tool, failure, a huge disappointment, fucking weak and unworthy. But I've realized that's all just me, telling myself shit that aren't necessarily true. Sure people have left me, sure they've used me, sure I've had weak moments but those don't define me. Those who really love and care about me are still around and I know they'll stand by me till the end. I know I've overcome so much shit, I've battled hard against my mental illnesses and am slowly winning. I might disappoint people, feel weak, get used, but I won't let those deter me. Sure, I might fall down the void & feel like it's all true, but if I'm anything, I'm persistent and I will beat that fucker. I know I complain a lot, I know I'm opinionated, I know I'm annoying sometimes, but you know what? I love talking about things I'm passionate about, to bring light to injustice and speaking up about it, and I'm not gonna apologize for doing it, not unless it turns out to be insensitive or hurts others' feelings. So yeah, this is me declaring that neither me nor Cas are defined by any of those adjectives. We're flawed individuals who are trying our best to better ourselves and the world and spread kindness and do as much good as we possibly can. I'm actually really sick and tired rn, doc said I can't go party or have greasy food but hey I can still feel proud of myself for how far I've come, yeah? So, happy birthday to me and I hope I keep this up for the rest of the year. Cheers to all my fellow fighters who've never given up, who are getting up everyday ready to fight. You're all warriors and I'm so so proud of y'all. I love you, keep kicking 🧡
C: @mishasdiary .
#akf #castiel #spn #castieledit #selflove #spnfamily #me #hbd