I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THIS WILL TAKE.
I could feel it building back in February.
These feelings of Frustration, Resentment, Anger.
It was about my Business.
But it wasn't.
It was about Me.
The continued Stories of:
Nobody is like me/gets me/understands me.
I can't trust anybody anymore. They all Lie.
Fuck everybody. Fuck all of this.
I can't do this anymore.
It felt like a falling apart of my former self,
in order to birth who I truly Am.
And it sucked.
It still does in some ways.
It's like waking up one day, and not even knowing the person you see in the mirror anymore.
Is this Me?
Have I been the Me that I think others see me as instead?
Is this Me the one that's been longing to come out?
Ego fights and kicks and screams,
because it doesn't want you to see Truth.
It knows that if you do, Ego will die.
And really, I've been feeling this call to explore my Spirituality for a long time.
But it felt so weird.
So 'not me.' So I continued to talk myself out of it.
Even as I type these words, it all feels strange.
But also, it doesn't.
I tell myself.....
but I've been through so much shit over the past 10 years.
I thought I had this whole Lief thing figured out.
Chronic illness in my husband's body.
Leaving a profession I thought I'd be in forever.
Struggles in Marriage.
Challenges as a Mother.
Yes, to Expansion and Growth and becoming More.
But not knowing who I am anymore????? This is NOT happening.
But it was.
I don't know how long the Rebirth and Rise will take.
Time isn't even real, so it's irrelevant.
I do know that I'm beginning to stand a little stronger each day.
I do know that the more I Trust and Surrender to Source/God/Universe that Alignment will continue.
I do know that in order for me to Know what is really True,
I need to empty my mind of what I thought to be True.
I do know that you may be reading this and think,
what the Fuck, Karen?
Did somebody hack your FB account?
I get it.
I have that feeling, too. (continued in comments)