**Warning Possible Triggers**
These are the faces of an invisible illness, this face masks C-PTSD, Fibromyalgia, CFS or ME, Generalised Anxiety disorder, OCD, Depression, PMDD and Panic Disorder. This face tries and looks so tired and the last face is broken, hiding so no one can see the tears.
Not only do I fight daily to improve my mental health but also my physical health. Alone these conditions debilitate, together they down right make living nearly impossible. I cry a lot, I won't lie. I look tired because I don't sleep well, I feel exhausted from the conversations in my head to keep moving to keep going. 🖤
I wake up every morning with hope even when I know that it's going to be different everday and I continue to grasp onto that hope throughout the day, regardless of the pain, the anxiety, the severe mood swings that accompany my mental health conditions. I hold onto hope even when I'm gasping for air through the panic, through the tears and through the emotions that feel so heavy and so painful I don't know how I'll go on.
I am scared to die but I won't lie when I say suicidal thoughts haven't crossed my mind when I'm at my lowest. I think it's almost normal when you are dealt a blow in life that physical cripples you and mentally derails you. I think it's normal to think it's all too much when it really is. A whirlpool of emotions and thoughts that threaten to drown you, yet I hold on to hope.
Hope that I will make it through this, hope that'll it get better and that I will regain my life again and the strength to carry on comes from this hope, this flickering ember that threatens to spark a raging fire inside when things become too much. 🖤
Hope is powerful, hold onto it, let it give you strength and courage to continue. Nothing is permanent, not this moment, not this feeling, nothing.
It will change. Hold on 💙💜💙