Some raw thoughts ahead... I think God leads us into spaces that feel uncomfortable reminding us how unqualified and inexperienced we are just so we learn to lean in harder. This has been an interesting season for me - on one hand I've come face to face with the reality that I am completely helpless and powerless to change circumstances and people outside of my control. And on the other, I've watched doors open for me that I have no right walking through, once again demonstrating my own need. Both point to my weakness, yet I'm finding there's opportunity there, too.
I don't know about you, but I HATE feeling weak. Like really hate it. I hate not being in control and I hate not knowing what's going to happen next. It's uncomfortable, stretching, and humbling to say the least. I've been in a process of learning to let go, which has been incredibly painful, but also surprising. In the midst of disappointing circumstances I cannot fix or mend, I've also experienced incredible favor.
Just this week I found myself sitting at a table of very influential people at my school talking about responding to the #toxicfuller protest last May. I had no place being invited to that table, yet I was there. I often tell people I feel like the most unlikely choice for this work of reconciliation. But maybe that's WHY I'm called to it. Because it keeps me weak, vulnerable, soft, and in a position to keep leaning in. It keeps me submitted and forces me to rely on something bigger than my own leadership ability or intuitive strategic bent. It even takes me out of the picture, reminding me it was never about me anyway.
If you feel out of control, confused, helpless, or powerless to change someone or something, can I encourage you to lean in? That's where the good stuff is.