How you #speak to each other either tells the story of your #love or your #fear. Are you speaking from your #heart or speaking from your #hurt? When you try to say how you feel, are you sending the message that you love your partner or that you're afraid of them? Do you really just want to feel #appreciated and #understood but end up arguing with your partner, fighting over "who's the bigger victim?" (If there's no victim, then there's no crime which means no conflict.)
These are important questions to ask ourselves because until we understand what is causing us to act out of fear or to take things personally, we won't be able to be fully present and show up with #love.
How do you #speak to your partner? Are you building them up or tearing them down the way that others have tried to make you feel bad about yourself? Are your #intentions to make your partner feel the pain others have caused you or loved the way you've always wanted to be?
To change how we speak to our partner, we have to change how we speak to ourselves. We have to transform our anger and frustration into #empathy and #compassion. If we speak out of anger then we are teaching our partner that they can't #trust us to #protect them or be able to believe us when we say that we love them. How can you put your #faith and #hope into someone who is willing to hurt you and takes no responsibility for it?
Practice giving what you want to receive, in other words, practice being #patient, #kind, #respectful, #attentive and #considerate. Try to become more aware of what is causing you to feel the way that you do and then express how you really feel, deep down, instead of just how you're feeling at the moment. Instead of getting upset over what you're trying to communicate, focus on what and how you are communicating.
Tell the story of how you will love, respect, protect and comfort them by HOW you speak to them.
(Example of how to communicate in comments below) -Joel Clemons • Relationship Coach @the.gentleman.wolf
Photo credit: @michellegonzalezphoto