Anyone who knows me knows that I am a very positive, happy person. The pictures and status updates I share are not an act or a fabricated social media persona -- they're my true self. But, much like everyone else, I have times when I don't feel happy or settled or fulfilled. And one of those times occurred in the early hours of this morning.
I lost my job a couple weeks ago -- the one I had just left Fabletics for not long before that. Around 1am today, the gravity of this fully hit and I had a panic attack where I cried, couldn't breathe and had the sensation of fire shooting up and down my back. I thought about how exhausting it is looking for work -- and how, even though I'm very adept at reaching out to people/applying for jobs/networking/utilizing LinkedIn, I don't know whether I'll find something quickly, and will have to deplete the savings I've so carefully and proudly cultivated. My spirits dipped considerably as I worried about what's in store for me.
I tell you this not for sympathy, but to let you know that I am human. I have moments of sadness and panic, too. And, sure, to let you know that I am definitely available for work. Immediately.
To infinity. And beyond.