Feeling grateful after my visits to the hospital. We are each so lucky to be alive, and for being surrounded by our families and friends. We can all be emotionally drained, depressed, angry, lost, and hopeless; but somewhere along the way we got to find some things to hang on to. I know I'm way to young to talk like this. I know I may be depressed again in a few years, and not believe in the things I just wrote now. However, if I'm ever in that situation again, here's a note to myself that, everything is going to be alright at the end. I will get through this, even in my worst days, I need to search the positive. Life's not fair at all and it will never be. So I decided to live with the thought of "The good people will find their way, and will earn what they deserve at the end". Today I was with a patient at a hospital who is permanently bedridden. After his period of bedridden, he was completely blinded. He told me he couldn't see when it rains, he couldn't walk outside and take fresh air like he used to, that he feels so sorry for himself, and most importantly, he told me he regrets the chances he didn't take. Due to his situation he will never be able to make them real. I ran out of words. While he talked I put myself in his place, and thought "If I was bedridden, what would I regret that I didn't do?" I had a few answers. Now I know that I need to hang on to each of those answers, and I have to actualize and internalize them. If not, I will end up regretting and blaming myself for the moments I could have lived. So here I am trying to start each day with positive thoughts. Also, this year I'm surrounding myself with the people I love, or with the people I stay positive with.
We are not out of time. Even if you think you are, chase your other worthy dreams. Be grateful for what you have now. You are alive, you are beautiful with your own body and thoughts. Appreciate your every single little achievement. Take baby steps, they will lead you to big achievements. Until your last breath in this world, try to leave your fingerprints somewhere. • Pinar Arikan, October 13. #pinararikan