ramblings of an unchained mind // “i don’t think you give yourself enough credit.” it’s been said to me over and over and over. it wasn’t until today that it finally clicked with me. “just look at you.” i stopped trusting my own heart out of fear. i feared that i perceived things wrong. i had a fear of not being ready, of not being seen as enough, of not being seen as capable, but today, i had those words spoken over me. “i don’t think you give yourself enough credit. just look at you. look at all you’ve done.” in that moment, i realized how happy i am, how my heart flutters and i love it, how i get uncontrollably passionate about things that seem so out of reach to so many people. i realized today that i am completely happy. i realized today that i will never be ready, and that is exactly what makes me ready. i wasn’t ready to get sick, but i did, and i fought like a beast. i wasn’t ready to go to Vegas, but Vegas was the best thing that ever happened to me. i wasn’t ready to be so out-of-this-world happy, but these last four months have had more genuine jaw-aching smiles and joy than i ever saw possible. i wasn’t ready to come home, but here i am, still happy, still beaming, still passionate, still fighting like an absolute beast. i wasn’t ready to fall deeply in love with Jesus when i did, but He met me where i was and took me on the craziest adventure ever. i don’t give myself enough credit. i truly don’t. i am so happy. i can’t even begin to tell you how happy i am right now, in this moment, this very second. i am so passionate and i can’t explain it. i have so many dreams. i have so much to do. i was reminded today, that we’re always trying to be someone that would bring hope to the person we used to be, and let me tell you: if my 13 year old self could see me right now, she would probably pass right out. that’s the whole point of it though. that at 13, i wouldn’t have believed this would be life, or that anything good was coming. at 16, i thought i would be stuck. but at 18, i’ve had the craziest year, and i never expected an ounce of it. i need to give myself more credit. i need to trust my heart more. i’m just really happy.