There are birthdays, and then there are those birthdays that transform your entire being.
If I told you that four years ago I wasn’t half of the woman I am today, would you believe me? Would you believe that I partied nonstop, drank until I passed out, battled eating disorders, and ingested whichever pill was accesible at that moment? Would you believe that I was insecure, jealous, dramatic, and always hurting those who hurt me? I had no idea what “breathing” nor meditating meant at that time. I struggled with the definition of being human. A lot. I was selfish and a machine gun that shot hurtful words and low blows to whoemever defied my personality. Until life showed me. Oh, how it did! It showed me darkness, and fears, and loneliness. A cold I had never felt before. It showed me how I was pushing people away, and hurting those I cared about deeply. It opened my eyes to the dangers of ego. And within the dozen rock-bottoms I experienced, I finally let go. I was physically and mentally exhausted to such an extent, I could no longer fight my demons, so I began accepting them and by doing so I began to heal. All types of old wounds that had built layers around my heart. As I accepted this darkness within me, and every single one of my cracks, light began to flow through them. It reached my core through those cracks. It taught me the importance of having love flowing through my veins, and the transformational impact my mentality and lifestyle could have on others. Rather than becoming a victim of my story, I chose to use it as a stepping stone to reshape my present and my future. I chose to break free and act rather than react. I did not become kindER. I became kind. I did not become wisER. I became wise. I was reborn again and that led me here. To celebrate my 31st bday in Bali completely surrounded by nature. Third year in a row with no parties, no candles, no ego but a culture and religion that feels like my own. I feel home here. Now, this is a birthday I’ll remember forever. Happy 31st to me, and cheers to all the powerful lessons this year came with. 🌻🌙 ps: if you believe in the magic of #s, Nov 19, 2018 = 11 1 11! 😍
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