I know I shared these pictures already in my stories when it was happening - but I figured they made the perfect #ThrowbackThursday post as it was exactly three weeks ago that we were on our little road trip.
I always look forward to our outings and road trips. I wish they were for difference reasons, but we make the best of them regardless.
See, I always wanted a sister. When that didn’t happen I discovered that I could make friends with girls easier than with guys - maybe a bit too easily as I got myself stuck in the “friend zone” a few times when that’s not where I wanted to be... if you know what I mean.
But then the paternal desires and instinct emerged and I knew I wanted a daughter more than anything. So, I was ecstatic when Madison was born.
It didn’t take long for an inseparable bond to form and even though I hate the term “Daddy’s little girl”, almost everyone who has spent any amount of time with us has told me they see it.
Now I have to admit her diagnosis has absolutely crushed me. In a selfish way, I feel robbed in that I got the daughter I wanted but this disease has taken so much away.
But maybe she was never supposed to be the daughter I wanted, but rather I was supposed to be the dad she NEEDED.
The way she looks at me and trusts me. The giggles I can get out of her. And the fact that most often the only thing that will regulate her in order to fall asleep are cuddles with me - often up to four hours of cuddles. All of this proves my theory that rather than being disappointed about what she’s not... maybe I need to focus on what I am.
And it’s in changing that perspective and going on trips like this that I begin to see just how much she still is. She’s my beautiful, rare little girl and I will always be incredibly proud to be her daddy!