Hello Troops, As a Major I believe I possess a lot of transferable skills that would make me eminently suitable to be a PERSONAL TRAINER. First and foremost this is due to my ability to give direct orders in a very loud voice. With my help, you will achieve a fitter, stronger, leaner version of yourself than you ever imagined possible! By the end of the training programme you will be able to complete a 12.8 km march in under two hours, whilst carrying a 25kg load, including a semi-automatic rifle, helmet and body armour! Here is a testimony from one of my first trainees:
***Focusing all of my attention on my music career these past 27 years has meant I haven’t taken the time to think about my fitness. Thankfully The Major came along just at the right time! His method of combining direct orders with sleep deprivation, punishment and humiliation helped me reach Royal Marine battle fitness standards in no time at all! I’m a changed man! The Major completely broke my personality and he can break you too! (Cee-Lo Green, Los Angeles)***
So Troops, if you like the sound of Cee-Lo’s testimony, sign up to my training programme in 2019. It will be tough, but we’ll have a lot of fun too!