Chapter I -- Cosmogony
In the beginning, all was void. A great black endless nothing. But nothing last forever, even nothing, so after an eternity nothing yielded to something and thus the seven original elements were born: Grain, Binder, Liquid, Oil, Leavening, Sweetness, and Salt. They existed in silent harmony for a great long time until Grain spoke. It said, “my brethren, I long for a new, higher communion with you. I cannot stand this separation; we must unite and combine as one.” The other six elements discussed Grain’s desire for union and it was decided that it should be so.
And so they combined, each in their own way in accordance with their nature. First came together the Dry Ones -- Grain, Leavening, Sweetness, and Salt. In a swirling dance they whisked across the void and as they merged some particles flew outward into the expanse; these are what we call stars. Next came together the Fluids -- Binder, Liquid, and Oil. As they combined some particles splattered outward into the expanse; these are what we call planets. And once they had blended the Fluids came unto the Dry Ones and said “now it is time. Let us fold unto you, and together form a new being.” And so they did. Out of the seven elements was born Batter, and it saw that it was good. Still it was not satisfied, for it was shapeless and it longed for form. It sang into the darkness a cry for shape, and the sound of its longing called forth a great iron Grid. Grid said unto Batter, “I have heard your call and heeded it. Pour yourself unto me and I shall give you shape.” Batter came unto Grid, which closed down upon it until it took form. What emerged from the Grid was a new and perfect being -- the Waffle.