Day 14 of our #CountdownToTheWedding is a bit unusual, so bear with me. #2weekstogo
I've found myself wondering lately. How do you part with a name? I always assumed I would keep my last name if I ever got married. Some of my female friends have. Some haven't. I know some gay couples that have hyphenated, but not many. But it was always an odd thought. Why would I WANT someone else's name? How #heteronormative!
But then...why not? I've never truly fit the part of a Gonzalez, after all. When people learn my name, what follows is an immediate questioning of my parentage, race, and background. No one accepts that pink-skinned, blonde-haired, red-bearded Alex is actually Alejandro Gonzalez without proper convincing. Then it's more questions or an off hand comment about being a white boy or an uncomfortable adoption punchline. People are surprisingly tactless sometimes. And it's been my entire life. In middle school my mom gave me permission to legally change it because I felt tortured, but I kept it. I guess because it was unique. Even when it was tiring, it was interesting. Part of it was the hope that if I kept it, it still somehow connected me to my birth dad, who I didn't have a relationship with at the time. Silly childhood ideas. The idea came up of taking on the family name Hernandez, like my dad, mom, and sisters. But although I felt like a Hernandez in my heart, it was sort of six of one when it came to representation.
When I started considering Alex Carter as a stage name, it seemed to make sense. Then I had my identity stolen about 3 times, not even including the most recent incident of mistaken identity and ensuing wrongful tax levy placed on my bank account. So maybe changing my name was a solution. It got me seriously thinking.
Then there's my impending marriage. I didn't want to lose myself entirely in the process, but both Justin and I like the idea of combining our names. When it all added up, Carter Van Pelt made for a nice new surname and one that would finally put to rest a lifetime of questions. So it was decided. A very big change indeed. The added 'Van Pelt' is forthcoming, but the Carter is here now. #alexandjustingettingmarried