Baywatch? More like Bay what the fucking am I watching? Of all the reboots/ adaptations this year, this has got to be the most stupid. A movie adaptation of Baywatch? Why would anyone approve or watch this? Let’s say that the original tv series never happened and this was an original movie, then we would have to base this movie on the trailers, and the trailers absolutely sucked. I wanted to see what tone this movie was going for from the trailers, and I got a stupid drug bust, let’s make fun of each other with stupid jokes tone. I’m just trying to say that this movie looks really stupid. I love Dwayne Johnson as much as the next person, but I’m positive he can’t fix this movie. This movie was already broken beyond repair before anyone saw it. I’ll go in with a little optimism but I’m sure Baywatch will end up unwatchable.
Baywatch is about a group of lifeguards who uncover a drug ring operating on their beach. I’ve seen lots of crime movies, and Baywatch has got to be the worst crime movie I’ve ever seen. The first problem, and the most obvious one, is that they’re lifeguards and have no business meddling around in a job for the police, they even mention it a ton of times in the movie. It just didn’t make any sense to me. Another huge problem is the actual length of the movie, it’s almost two hours long. A Baywatch movie doesn’t need to be two hours long, they literally could of cut the first thirty minutes of this film out since it had nothing to do with the drug bust plot. It just went on for way too long in my opinion. This movie was just so stupid, nothing made sense, and I left this movie with a ton of questions unanswered about the characters. The jokes were also really terrible, everyone just made fun of each other and that could work if the writers were actually good at their job. These really were some of the dumbest jokes I’ve heard. I did laugh in this movie though, only three times, and one of those times was during the credits in the bloopers, so that might not even count. Continued in Comments.