I have been super quiet lately. There's a reason for that. I've been getting up and putting on my game face every day for the last 2 weeks.
Some days I've had to fake it more than others, but each day those smiles and jokes have been forced.
It sucks. I live with bipolar 2 disorder. I choose not to take the mind numbing medications for a number of reasons, and usually manage really well with the assistance of my essential oils and family support.
What I've realised is just how much I depend on my biggest family support - my mum.
I'd speak to her daily, at least an hour a day, and lately with her new job, that's become harder and harder. I miss her :(
I've been in a very big funk lately and nothing I've done has helped. Some mornings I woke up and suicidal thoughts would creep in. Note, don't get me wrong. I HAVE suicidal thoughts, but I am NOT suicidal. There is a big difference between the two.
I have a family depending on me daily, and some times that dependence just gets a little too heavy to carry.
The biggest mental challenge has been giving myself the motivation to eat my set meals and exercise every night. But I've done that. Every day and night. Scrolling Instagram or the Facebook forum and seeing a team of girls lifting each other up, instead of putting one another down has given me more motivation and love than I ever thought and for these girls, I am truly thankful.
Even in my darkest hour, someone has always been there. @bodiesbyrachel is like a family, and #Teambbr girls stick together and push each other to be the best they can be in many ways.
I'm so proud of the empowering women I have met in these challenges, that alone is rewarding enough. But #teamshred had taught me to push through when I've nothing left in the tank and given me both mental and physical rewards and changes I once only dreamed of.
Thankyou to Rachel, Emma and the team of BBR who empower and lift women up.
#bbrgirls #bbrforlife #bodiesbyrachel #therachelway #racheldillon #fitnessmum #fitnessmotivation #fitnessjourney #bipolar #bipolar2 #bipolardisorder #teamshred #bbr #bbrshred #Teambbr