You may have heard that our brain is made up of a left hemisphere and a right hemisphere. The left hemisphere is the part that we use to do logical thinking and use our reasoning to stay calm under stress. The right hemisphere is the defensive reactor it pays a lot of attention to what's going on around our environment and between people. This includes people’s emotions, their facial expressions and their voices. Researches have found that when a person is in crisis (a stressful/dangerous situation) the right hemisphere takes over. This creates a problem because when you are really upset you can’t think very well. You need to be able to turn on the left hemisphere to allow problem solving.
One way to do this is to have an encouraging statement you can automatically say to yourself in such situations to calm yourself and engage your logical thinking. An encouraging statement is a positive statement such as “I’ve got this”, or “I can get through this”. Next time you are in a stressful situation, stop and use your encouraging statement. Remember It is common to feel sad, angry, upset or frightened when going through a separation and divorce however sometimes you need to shield people from your feelings, especially your children.