When my interest in fitness and weight loss sparked when I was around 14 or 15 I was getting all my tips from Tumblr which, obviously, lead me to eat that “golden” number of 1,200 calories a day plus working out on top of that. Which, obviously again, caused my body to think it was starving and sent me into the wonderful and magical disorder of binge eating. Binge eating is described as recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food; feeling of a loss of control while eating; and feeling shame and guilt after the binge without purging. It’s also the most common eating disorder in the US!
It’s very hard to get control of an addiction to something when you need that thing to literally survive. My weight has fluctuated so much over the years from going a month straight binge eating and gaining ten pounds to two months of dieting and losing it again. When I’m in a “binging” time my personality completely changes, I isolate myself because all I want to do is eat in private because it’s embarrassing, and the day after I’m in a horrible mood because I’m guilty and ashamed. It causes me to push people away that I love and turns me into a person that I don’t like. One second I’ll think I finally conquered it, and the next I’ll slip back into my binging routine of eating pints of Ben and Jerry’s in my bed
This post isn’t to give my fool proof tips and tricks on how I defeated my eating disorder because I still struggle with it, but to say that I’m right there with all of you who are struggling too. It’s hard to want to be the best version of yourself, to be healthy, and to be happy and then to keep letting yourself fall back into your same habits. Take care of yourself, forgive yourself, and try again. There is hope around the corner for anyone who struggles with an eating disorder #bingeeatingdisorder #bingeeatingrecovery