The real glow up was never external. This is my version of the #10yearchallenge. It’s less about what I looked like ten years ago and more about what I felt like. Recently, I was challenged on my transparency and making everything look all glittery and perfect on social media. It was a great challenge and here is a transparent moment. Ten years ago I was in a very different place than I am now and my biggest battle was not knowing my value. As a result, I would let other people, jobs, opportunities, possessions determine what I was worth—you can probably imagine the havoc that wreaked on my life.
One day I hit a wall of depression, I’m talking about not eating, hair falling out, boils on skin type of depression. I wouldn’t leave my ransack of an apartment in the DMV for days at a time. I would sleep/hibernate and read every self help blog I could find and then one day I literally said, F that! I went to the store, got about 7 post it stacks and two packs of markers and once I got home, I wrote every good thing about myself on those notes, even if I didn’t believe it yet. I wrote, you are powerful, you are loved, you are a beautiful person, you deserve great things, you are creative, you are wealthy, you are healthy. Literally, every trait that I wanted to embody. I stuck these post it’s on my closet door, my microwave, my ceiling, my mirror, my floor, my cabinets, literally any thing that I would come in contact with (my apartment was colorful and a little crazy looking). Every place I looked was a reminder of the powerful being that was inside of me. It was during that time that a light switch begin to flicker and I was essentially being reborn.
I say this all to say we must work on our inner being. We must be dedicated to him/her at even the cost of looking “crazy” to someone else because you know what’s crazy-walking around here as powerful as you are and suppressing that to fit into someone else’s version of what you should be. The fact is a lot of people’s ceiling for you is actually your floor. Rise to the occasion and rise to the top.
Not your expected 10 year challenge but it is my truth. Thank you Dr Steph for helping me be more vulnerable 🙏🏾