#bryancantcook

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#bryancantcook#dinner#homemade#mealprep#homecook#cilantro#gameday#kale#collegefootball#floridastate#fsu#jalapeno#homecooking#lime#chicken#lemon#bacon#barley#fridaynight#tailgate#pickles#quinoa#saturday#basil#broiled#miso#seminoles#salad#kimchi#mushrooms#carrot#buttermilk#greencurry#salmon#sousvide#honey

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If no one else will, I’d like to pat myself on the back for staying committed to this regional cooking deal all year while FSU’s season has been doing it’s best impression of Los Angeles right now. If we’re making food from Indiana and we’re not deep frying pretty much everything, then we’re in danger of being haunted by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln himself. Through my research, I was able to figure out that people from Indiana have an affinity for eating Breaded Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches that include a pounded out tenderloin that is approximately FAR TOO FUCKING BIG for the bun, so here you go. As an appetizer I made Fried Sauerkraut Balls with a Charred Scallion and Calabrian Chili Aioli because at some point, an unnamed genius from the Midwest decided to just take the brats, sauerkraut, onions, and mustard, mash em all together, and fry them in a cauldron of bubbling, liquid fat. For dessert, I continued my streak of making more pies in one football season than I have in my entire life combined with a Hoosier Pie, which is 80% sugar and topped with more sugar. Notre Dame’s jerseys are ugly. Goodnight. #bryancantcook #homemade #homecooking #collegefootball #gameday #tailgate #floridastate #fsu #indiana #notredame #porktenderloin #sandwich #sauerkraut #fried #bratwurst #hoosier #pie #abrahamlincoln #jamesdean


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It’s after 10 pm on a Monday so get ready to wake the neighbors with the sirens cuz we’re back with a 🚨 MEAL PREP ALERT 🚨 Tilapia was on sale today so I did a quick marinade and broil and served it with my old meal prep staples: Quinoa and Barley Salad with a Miso Spinach Pesto and Five-spice Sweet Potato Red Pepper Purée. This was great, and so are you guys...just in case no one told you that yet today. 😘 #bryancantcook #dinner #mealprep #homecooking #homemade #broiled #tilapia #oystersauce #quinoa #barley #miso #spinach #pesto #chinesefivespice #sweetpotato #redpepper #puree #salad #lime #damianmarley


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One of the tough parts about this regional cooking for FSU’s opponents thing (aside from the act of actually watching the games this season) is that we play 2-4 different teams from North Carolina every season, and there’s not exactly a very deep bench of North Carolina-specific foods. So for today’s shit-storm of a game, I repurposed some ingredients from the Wake Forest game a couple a weeks ago and mashed ‘em all together with a general southern staple: fried chicken. Instead of sweet potato pie, I took some of those sweet potatoes and made Sweet Potato Sage Biscuits out of them, into which I threw my Sweet Tea-Brined Fried Chicken with an Herbed Goat Cheese, Chili Honey Butter, and homemade Dill Pickles. For dessert, I took the last bottle of Cheerwine I had left and churned some Cheerwine Buttermilk Ice Cream that I’d like to hoist onto my shoulders and parade down Main Street during rush hour. #bryancantcook #gameday #collegefootball #northcarolina #ncstate #tailgate #homemade #homecooking #friedchicken #sweetpotato #biscuit #goatcheese #honey #butter #cheerwine #icecream #roalddahl


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For those of you who followed my binge fest in San Francisco for the past week, you know that this 🚨MEAL PREP ALERT 🚨 is well overdo, and medically necessary. I went back to my roots and “green curried” this White Bean Ragu with shrimp and charred broccoli. It’s amazing what you can get used to in such a short period of time; I almost miss the fetal position-inspiring tummy ache due to consuming two dinners every night in San Francisco. #bryancantcook #dinner #homecooking #homemade #mealprep #greencurry #thaibasil #whitebeans #lime #cilantro #shiitake #mushrooms #shrimp #francoharris


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I’m headed out of town on Wednesday so I’m leaving my Meal Prep sirens at home, but here’s what I would be eating for the entire week and probably decade because this is as good as vegan food gets right here. I braised some green cabbage and shiitake mushrooms in Shaoxing wine and mushroom stock with a little chili bean paste mixed in there because it was the right thing to do. Served it with broiled Miso Glazed Tempeh and of course an almost-embarrassing serving of Chili Crisp. #bryancantcook #dinner #homemade #homecooking #mealprep #vegan #braised #cabbage #shiitake #mushrooms #shaoxingwine #chilicrisp #miso #tempeh #kathybates


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Would you believe me if I told you that in honor of FSU’s win over Wake Forest, I made this almost textbook North Carolina-style Smoked Pulled Pork using only a sous vide machine and my oven; without ever touching a smoker? Of course you would. I respect you guys too much to lie to you about something like that, and you know damn well that if I DID own a smoker, I’d be bragging about it incessantly. I shredded that bad boy up, and ate it between some buns with a little bit of Apple Slaw and a healthy amount of a homemade Cheerwine BBQ Sauce to make that sandwich more North Carolina than the Wright brothers doing donuts in an Andrew Jackson-sponsored NASCAR on the floor of the Tar Heel’s home court at the Dean Smith Center. I served it up with far too much Bacon Mac n Cheese, and finalized this Carolina-themed glutton fest with a Sweet Potato Pie that’s here to tell your pumpkin pie to suck it. #bryancantcook #collegefootball #gameday #floridastate #seminoles #northcarolina #wakeforest #bbq #smoked #pulledpork #coleslaw #cheerwine #bacon #macncheese #sweetpotatopie #homemade #homecooking #sousvide #leemajors


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You know the drill..it’s Monday night so we got a 🚨 MEAL PREP ALERT, BABAAAYYY 🚨 I went with this vegan version of Turkish Menemen that I got from @kenjilopezalt, which uses silken tofu instead of eggs, and coming from someone who’s never eaten the original version, I like the vegan version better. It probably didn’t need it, but I topped it with a butternut squash and chayote hash for some of that “texture” all those Chopped judges never shut up about. #bryancantcook #dinner #homecook #homemade #mealprep #vegan #menemen #silkentofu #butternutsquash #chayote #hash #gordonlightfoot


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With FSU on a bye week, the menu for today was a dealer’s choice, and this dealer just cooked and ate so much Mexican food that he hates himself. I found some banana leaves at the Asian market earlier this week so I felt obligated to buy a whole boneless lamb leg, dry brine it in smoked salt for 24 hours, marinade it in Chile adobo for another 24 hours, then cook it in said banana leaves for 4 more hours and assemble some of the best goddamn Lamb Barbacoa Tacos you’d ever wanna eat so fast you forget how many of them there actually were. To go along with them, I made a Roasted Tomatillo Salsa, the undisputed king of the Salsa’s, and Beer Queso that I will eat until I’m sick if I don’t walk away from it. Will the leftovers become nachos later? Yes, but only if I’m able to get off the couch in the next 6 hours. #bryancantcook #gameday #homecooking #homechef #homemade #mexican #lamb #barbacoa #tacos #beer #queso #tomatillo #salsa #bananaleaf #beaubridges


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You wouldn’t really think that a bacon, caramelized onion, and cream cheese pizza would be very French, but this Tarte Flambée is as French as democracy. And while present-day Americans can’t go back in time and punch the first guy to suggest Democracy right in the dick to avoid our current political garbage fire, we can make this incredible piece of food with things that are probably already in your fridge/pantry. #bryancantcook #dinner #homecooking #homemade #fridaynight #french #tarteflambée #caramelizedonions #bacon #creamcheese #davidbyrne


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LOCK UP YOUR DAIRY, BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES ON YOUR SNACK PANTRY, AND SOUND THE ALARM BECAUSE WE GOT A 🚨 MEAL PREP ALERT 🚨 Slow Roasted White Fish with lemon, dill, and Fresno chili, on top of some Braised Radicchio and Cannellini Beans, and Sautéed Portobello Mushrooms. 😎 #bryancantcook #dinner #mealprep #whitefish #lemon #dill #fresno #sauteed #mushrooms #braised #radicchio #cannellinibeans #homemade #homecook #tarareid


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Through several years of research as an FSU fan, I’ve found the perfect remedy to the stresses of the Miami game is a good old fashioned round of eating your feelings. For yesterday’s session, I went with a Cuban-inspired affair for my Miami-inspired affair. I sous vide’d and roasted some mojo pork for Cuban Sandwiches as the main attraction because they’ve become a bit of a specialty of mine, and not making them runs me the risk of destroying personal relationships. It’s never a party without a killer dip, so I turned some classic Picadillo into a not so classic dip by thickening it with a little bit of roux and cheese, then fried up some tostones to eat with it. For the sweeter side, I baked a bunch of less-than-pretty Guava and Cheese Pastries that I promise tasted better they photographed, and experiment with some Fried Key Lime Pie because it’s FRIED KEY LIME PIE FOR GODS SAKE. Those referees may have been able to take my Seminoles’ touchdowns away, but they can never take away the sweet slumber of a man with a belly full of pork, cheese, and FRIED KEY LIME PIE FOR GODS SAKE. #bryancantcook #gameday #collegefootball #tailgate #homemade #homecook #floridastate #fsu #seminoles #miami #rivalryweek #cubanfood #cubansandwich #mojo #pork #guavaandcheese #pastry #picadillo #tostones #keylimepie #samuelclemens


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🚨 MEAL PREP ALERT 🚨 Had some leftover jasmine rice I wanted to use up so I got a little more naughty than usual for this one. We got Green Curry Glazed Salmon with Krab and Kale Fried Rice and Roasted Cauliflower. Simple. Sexy. Swift. Sweet. Salty. Succulent. So good. So long! 👋 #bryancantcook #mealprep #greencurry #salmon #jasminerice #krab #kale #friedrice #roasted #cauliflower #cilantro #lime #carolkane


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Florida State’s game against Louisville has become one of my all time favorite traditions for one reason, and one reason only: HOT BROWNS, BABAAYYY. If you don’t know what what a Kentucky Hot Brown is, it’s a turkey sandwich from the future here to warn you about the dangers of consuming old, boring ass, deli meat, brown bag, school lunch turkey sandwiches. It’s an open faced sandwich that goes: toasted bread, roasted turkey, tomato, mornay sauce, and bacon, then the whole thing gets broiled and served to you in a convertible because you’re now the coolest person on your block. My version had a FrankenTurkey, which was two rolled, stuffed turkey breast’s wrapped up in their own skin, sous vide’d for three hours, then seared in bacon fat 😳. On top of that went some slow roasted cherry tomatoes because if you know anything about me, know this: I think putting raw tomatoes on sandwiches is the worst culinary tradition since the 50’s when everyone tried to put everything they ate into jello molds for like 8 years. I finished it with some very classic mornay sauce, chopped bacon, and homemade pickled jalapeños to cut through the richness. As if I needed an appetizer, I made another Kentucky favorite, beer cheese, and served it with a bunch and goodies, including homemade cornbread mini-muffins. For dessert, I’ll leave you with three words: Buttermilk. Crack. Pie. Goodnight you princes of Maine, you kings of New England; I’m gonna go to sleep until work on Monday. #bryancantcook #saturday #gameday #collegefootball #tailgate #floridastate #fsu #seminoles #louisville #kentucky #hotbrown #turkey #sousvide #mornay #jalapeno #beercheese #cornbread #crackpie #ciderhouserules #johnirving


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I don’t know much about Filipino food outside of Adobo, but when you have something this good and this easy, you don’t even need to have any other dishes. #bryancantcook #fridaynight #homemade #homecook #dinner #chicken #adobo #filipino #jasminerice #fresnochili #jerrystackhouse


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SOUND THE ALARMS 🚨 ITS A MEAL PREP ALERT 🚨 We got Blackened Chicken Breast with Barley, Quinoa, and Red Bean Succotash and some of the Peruvian green sauce from last night because it tastes as good as Liev Schreiber looks when he’s brooding. #bryancantcook #dinner #homemade #homecook #mealprep #blackenedchicken #barley #quinoa #redbeans #succotash #donnasummer


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Sometimes you have make black beans, rice, and grilled chicken just for an excuse to also make that green sauce you get Peruvian restaurants. #bryancantcook #dinner #homemade #homecook #sunday #grilledchicken #blackbeans #rice #peruvianfood #greensauce #cilantro #lime #scallion #markgastineau


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There’s only a few minutes until Florida State tries their hardest to beat a team they should, but probably won’t. The good news is: that team hails from Northern Illinois which is more than enough reason for me to make a Chicago-style Deep Dish Pizza featuring homemade dough, hot Italian sausage, and sauce. If you watch the video you can, both see the entire layer of sausage I put down under the sauce, and hear me forget that I was recording and belch on camera like the gross old man I’ve become. Since I kept it totally by-the-book for the pizza, I felt comfortable getting a little funky for dessert. If you don’t know about Garrett Popcorn in Chicago, they’re signature flavor combination is cheddar cheese corn and caramel corn. Sounds gross, but really isn’t. So I took that same flavor combo and got silly with a Cheddar Cheese Ice Cream with Caramel Corn swirled into it. Go Noles. Go pizza. Go ice cream. Go fly a kite. #bryancantcook #saturday #gameday #fsu #floridastate #northernillinoisuniversity #chicago #regionalfood #tailgate #homemade #homecook #deepdishpizza #garettpopcorn #cheddar #caramel #popcorn #julieandrews #dickvandyke


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Okay, these seared scallops are pretty cool, but the bacon, corn, potato hash that’s underneath them is like...Gucci Mane-smoking a cigarette-while-riding-two-orcas-like-waterskis cool. Gave it all a lil’ drizzle of my favorite aged balsamic from Italy and it’s totally not because I burned my butter sauce. #bryancantcook #dinner #homecook #homemade #scallops #baconfat #bacon #corn #potato #hash #balsamic #charlotterampling


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Been laid up in bed the last couple days and totally forgot to post any food from last Saturday’s huge embarrassing failure. My Seminoles took on the mighty Orangeman from Syracuse, and if you want my recount of the game, those players in the orange jerseys were ten stories tall; they flew across the field with speed and tenacity I had not witnessed since the Serengeti episode of Planet Earth. All I saw on the other side of that line of scrimmage from my pathetic, helpless Seminoles were a team full of Paul Bunyan’s come to life for the sole purpose of dismantling anything in their collective path. To honor the greatest football I’ve ever seen, I made a Central-Northern New York classic, Chicken Riggies, which is just Rigatoni Pasta in a tomato and cream sauce with chicken and a bunch of different peppers, and ate it in a “giant blue ox”-sized portion before watching FSU’s season be laid to rest by a bunch of bullies from New York State. #bryancantcook #fsu #floridastate #seminoles #collegefootball #homemade #homecook #newyork #newyorkstate #syracuse #chickenriggies #paulbunyan #blueox #rip #chrisjericho


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I always try and share my fuck ups and while this wasn’t catastrophic, it did make me sad. Tried to use a different technique for the cast iron pizza where I transfer the pizza onto the back of the skillet that was preheated in a 550 degree oven. As you can probably guess, the pizza never made it to the skillet and suffered pretty severe damage to the aesthetics and structural integrity. This is a picture of the half of the pizza that was edible, and by “edible” I mean “worthy of being photographed” because you better believe I went TO TOWN on the other half. #bryancantcook #castiron #pizza #homemade #homecook #dinner #fridaynight #semolinaflour #mozzarella #parmigiano #basil #anchovy #capers #calabrianchili #olivianewtonjohn


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Banana Apple Butter Mini-Muffins for the kiddos at work. Just enough fruit and whole wheat flour to pretend they’re a health food. #bryancantcook #bryancantbake #homemade #homecook #baking #wholewheat #banana #applebutter #muffins #terrancemckenna


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🚨 MEAL PREP ALERT 🚨 I had the opportunity to make two different countries angry with this one. I took most of the basic elements of Thai Drunken Noodles, cooked a bunch of barley risotto-style with coconut milk to replace heavy cream, and ended up with what I’m calling Drunken Barley Risotto. I topped it with an embarrassing mound of Chili Crisp, which is a Chinese ingredient, so that’s a third country and a completed hat trick. 🎩🎉 #bryancantcook #dinner #homemade #homecook #mealprep #blasphemy #thai #drunkennoodles #barley #risotto #chicken #zucchini #redpepper #coconutmilk #cilantro #kale #kimchi #chilicrisp #maureenmccormick #marshamarshamarsha


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It’s 10 pm in Week 2 and FSU just scored their first Touchdown of the season. I’m not sure if that’s good or not, but what I am sure of is that even if the Seminoles lose to Samford tonight, I’m the real winner here. It’s never a good sign to be losing to a team that I had to google to figure out where they were located, but Google told me Alabama, and I believe her. YEAH, Google is a woman. DEAL WITH IT. I may have gone a bit overboard, but that’s what I do. In order, we got: No-smoker Smoked Chicken Wings with Alabama White BBQ Sauce, Fried Yellow (couldn’t find green) Tomato BLT with Remoulade, a blasphemous version of Banana Pudding that involved Vanilla Bean Panna Cotta with Bananas Foster and “Nilla Wafer Crumble, and finally, the Pimento Cheese Stuffed Cornbread I showed you guys earlier. Now if y’all excuse me, I’m going to go sit through the rest of my stupid team play a stupid sport that I’m stupid for watching. Good night. #bryancantcook #saturday #gameday #collegefootball #floridastate #fsu #tailgate #alabama #regionalfood #smoked #chickenwings #alabamawhitesauce #friedgreentomatoes #blt #remoulade #bananapudding #pannacotta #bananasfoster #nillawafers #pimentocheese #cornbread #samforduniversity #kellyosbourne


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Here’s a little teaser for my Alabama-theme Forgy (that’s a new word I just made up that means Food Orgy. Deal with it.) later on today. This Jalapeño Scallion Cornbread is studded with pockets of Pimento Cheese to really bring it all home. You’re probably wondering what the resulting BM’s from this are gonna be like, and if you’re not, I’ll tell you anyway. #bryancantcook #homemade #homecook #weekend #saturday #gameday #collegefootball #samforduniversity #fsu #floridastate #alabama #jalapeno #scallion #cornbread #pimentocheese #castiron #bm #burtreynolds #rip


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In my ongoing search to find the best possible way to use up leftover buttermilk, I may have found a new front runner. I saw @mollybaz from @bonappetitmag use it to make a pasta sauce and, since she’s one of my favorite people on the internet (second only to those giggling baby quadruplets and that guy who’s dog shit on his own toy at the beach like 12 years ago), I followed suit and am currently posting this TWO bowls of pasta deep. According to my box of pasta, that’s approximately 5 servings of Bowtie Pasta with Sausage, Zucchini, Peas, and Basil tossed in a Buttermilk and Parm Sauce, and topped with chopped roasted pistachios. If you think for one second that I’m ashamed of how much food I just ate...you’re 100% correct. #bryancantcook #fridaynight #dinner #homemade #homecook #bowtie #pasta #italiansausage #zucchini #peas #basil #buttermilk #parmigianoreggiano #pistachio #samneill


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A good old fashioned “clean out the fridge” fried rice. I threw in kimchi, kale, golden raisins, frozen peas, a ton of chili crisp on top, and a big splash of my new homemade fermented hot sauce that came out...okay. The fried rice, however, was a knockout as usual and accomplished the goal of making space in my fridge for the “far too much” food I’ll be making this weekend. #bryancantcook #dinner #homemade #homecook #kimchi #friedrice #kale #goldenraisins #fredsavage


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I’m not a mustachioed cop sitting at a diner counter in a 70’s movie so I don’t eat Denver omelette’s very often, but when you make your own ham, it’s a requirement. #bryancantcook #sunday #eggs #breakfast #lunch #brunch #ham #homemade #cheese #onion #greenpepper #denveromelette #tomberenger


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If you’re not using leftover steak to make quesadillas, you’re fired. I’m gonna need your gun and your badge; you’re off the case. #bryancantcook #saturdaynight #dinner #homemade #leftovers #steak #quesadilla #crema #chimichurri #blackbeans #darylhannah


1

It’s the most glutinous time of the year, once again and I’ll be spending every Saturday afternoon cooking local dishes from whomever my beloved Florida State Seminoles happen to be playing that week. Unfortunately, someone scheduled our first game on a Monday night, for which I will be out of town, so here we are. In honor of my boys taking on Virginia Tech, I present my take on Ham Biscuits, a Virginian delicacy that is exactly what it sounds like. Since there were no rabid FSU fans to feed today, I didn’t want to make an entire ham that I’d end up eating myself, so I cured a pork tenderloin, threw it in the sous vide, then glazed it with some brown sugar and mustard. In my attempt to shoehorn as much of Virginia as possible into one beautiful sandwich, I made a deeply caramelized apple butter, spread it down the bottom half of my homemade buttermilk biscuit, threw down a handful of sliced Tenderloin Ham that I crisped up in a cast iron skillet, and laid down some pimento cheese that I made on top of the ham before capping it off with second half of biscuit. DAMN. For dessert, I fucked around with Buttermilk Pie by turning it into a tart and serving with Blueberry Thyme sauce and a few fresh berries. If you think this was overboard, just wait until we play Miami, when I purchase whole coca leaves from Ecuador and make homemade cocaine, cut with baby laxatives in the name of total authenticity. #bryancantcook #collegefootball #tailgate #gameday #fsu #floridastateuniversity #seminoles #virginia #ham #biscuits #idontgiveaham #godhammit #applebutter #pimentocheese #buttermilk #pie #blueberry #thyme #cybillshepherd


1

Please ignore the very clear difficulty I had plating this and focus on a perfectly cooked skirt steak with chimichurri, and black beans and rice a Cuban grandmother would be proud to call her own. Every time I make something simple like this, it makes me question why I even bother with the complicated stuff.... #bryancantcook #cuban #blackbeansandrice #skirtsteak #chimichurri #mediumrare #gretagarbo


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